New Deep

The Art of Attraction

2010-02-07T18:31:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

AttraXion Arts
Learn the Secrets of the Art of Seduction. AttraXion Arts, or X Arts for short, is the premier and leading dating and seduction company in the Philippines, and is regarded as the GOLD STANDARD of date coaching in Asia.

Website URL http://www.attraxionarts.com
Website Title AttraXion Arts
Description
Learn the Secrets of the Art of Seduction. AttraXion Arts, or X Arts for short, is the premier and leading dating and seduction company in the Philippines, and is regarded as the GOLD STANDARD of date coaching in Asia.

kiwi's adventures(unedited)

2009-08-23T05:50:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

The Lifestyle of the Secret Society

“I'm back”

The words I blurted out once emerging from business class seating. It was June and I had just returned from the land of the pick up artists, America. During my three months stay there, I had toured the greater part of the US and realized that I hadn’t done much gaming since this vacation was spent with family. It’s not that I didn’t try, but one of my futile attempts in gaming led me to believe that “sarging” at night in clubs and bars proved to be too costly. I’d even blown a hundred dollars on myself alone in some Bulgarian bar in New York. On top of that, I had an overwhelming feeling that I was just a mere Filipino man in the land of whites and blacks with plenty of greenbacks in their wallets. Slowly over time I’d come to the conclusion that shopping was a much more logical and cheaper alternative.

Finally I was back. Although I had been in a cocoon in the short time that has past I was eager again to practice the art that I had been longing to unleash once more. Armed with only the desire to get back in the dating scene I had begun my journey into the seduction community once more. My role in the group was not an active part in the development of this community, although my efforts were spent on passive activities in our group. I was in the sidelines, organizing meet ups for the boys, supporting boot camps of the gurus and most importantly, trolling the boards.

Seeing old friends from the community again in months was refreshing. My life would change once more the moment I met the friends I so badly missed. Magnetic Tuesdays was up again, our version of a male support group. Starbucks Shangrila was the usual venue of the magnetic boys. Coming from the south I was always the last to arrive but tonight I was early. Excitement was in my blood. One by one my friends came Pepper, Bacon, LadiesDrink, Van Diesel, Alex, Paranoid, Charlattan, Daredevlit and Jansen to name a few. These were their handles. My handle was Kiwi. It was good to be back. I may not be a veteran on the boards but it was nice to hear that this small group was growing by the day.

My mother had always been in love with traveling. I on the other hand didn't really share the excitement and passion she has for jet setting. The moment I came back to the states she had already asked me out again.

“We're going to Japan this August”
“Japan? But I just barely got in from the states. What would people at my office say?”
“Well, I'm sure you'll think of something.”
She had Amogged me again. This time I let her go. I usually wouldn't go down in a fight that easily. Somehow I wanted to go to Japan too but not at that time. Maybe it was because its been my dream to see the Sakura(Cherry Blossoms) in full bloom during spring but it was already June. I really didn't know why.

It was still June, I had plenty of time to brush up on my basics and practice my gaming. Other than that, my focus on myself was to learn more and to develop and improve my skills in the game of life. That short amount of time had allowed me to do all these things and at the same time teach. For free of course.

Teaching was always a part of my forte back in my college days. I taught at various seminars in church and for that I am proud to say that teaching was my passion. I figured out that the more I taught, the more I learned faster grasping these concepts in a short amount of time. Even though I didn't make any money from teaching I always got the kick out of one of my students whenever he says “My friend, thank you for changing my life.” That has been my natural drug that had no comparison to whatever chemical drug man has ever made. This was my calling.

I went out with other girls too which gave me the opportunity to brush up my conversational skills. Mary was a big breasted morena girl I met during college(she had just broken up with her boyfriend recently), Hanah was an aspiring lawyer still in law school, Tricia is a wedding planner whom I am currently helping out in weddings, Nicole was a relationship manager working at a multinational company of which I had met in a bar in Bf( we called her dangerous), Mandy was referred to me by a friend who had wanted to hook us up, Rain was Korean I had met thru my wing Tonsy and we had gone out pretty much a couple of times, Eden was a single mom that has recently gave birth was once again looking into the dating Market. Janice was a flight attendant that lived outside of the country but always met up with me whenever she flies to Manila, Annie was a girl I flirted with every time she was around I feel she secretly likes me. I went out with them all in the short amount of time I had arrived in Manila. I loved them all but there was still one girl that I wanted to get back at and her name was Yuri.

Into the Land of the rising sun

Arriving in Japan one sunny Sunday August afternoon became a hassle. The night before was spent on some girlie bar strip club in Cubao. Pepper, Bacon and Taguro had invited me and my non community friend Pao to join them. No gaming occurred. It was a girlie bar packed with guys and of course, we all know that in this area money talks. One dancer caught my eye. She was called roxy. I looked at Pao as he conveyed to me too that he also wanted her. Reaching for my wallet I pulled it out. My wallet had a distant two hundred pesos. It was barely enough to buy one round of drinks which consisted of two beers. And that was it. I could only watch.

Things had started slow here in “No English” land. I was low on energy and what made matters even worse was I had unexpectedly walked in the most expensive city in the whole world. The price for everything sold was horrendous. This was the reality in Tokyo.

A certain notable Pua had stated that when it comes to Peacoking, the Japanese got it right. Observing how they accessorize, outlandish and outrageous as were the prices, they take peacoking to a whole new level. I love the way they dress and even coined a term for it: hosto apparel. Hosto shoes, hosto wallet, hosto shades, hosto jackets even the hair was hosto, all of them expensive in their own right.

The Hosto shoes were the most notable in peacoking. Aside from the outrageous “pointy” look it had, an assortment of materials was used in its creation. The outer sole was made of wood, stainless steel, suede and leather decorated the shoes and some chains attached to it to make it look shiny and some rubber widgets by the side. I checked the price, ten thousand Philippine pesos for a pair. I wanted to cry. Joking aside, I had made arrangements to meet up with two of my long time friends. Bidding my family adieu for a good two days I set out to meet my friends. A guy named Martin and a girl named Yuri.

I had met Martin some four or five years ago in some bar south side of the Metro. He was playing keyboards on a band that had a gig there. We had been good friends for awhile now since the two of us knew each other’s mothers respectively. He had first arrived in Japan late June for work in a band in some bar located in the haystack of a city we call Tokyo. Martin picked me up in my hotel with his girlfriend Dina and our plan was for me to watch where he played.

“My work hours is from 3am to 8am but I have to report by 9pm for practice” Martin said to me in one of our conversations towards the bar
“Why is that?” It somehow occurred to me in my mind that even though he worked in a band there is absolutely no way the work hours would be at that time of the morning. It usually would have been earlier say 9pm to 1am. I would soon find out.
As the night progressed I said to Martin “I want to see Yuri”
“For you man, anything” then he proceeded to unleash a barrage of messages to Yuri since she was playing hard to get. She was apparently busy apparently. I had instructed Martin to do all the texting since I didn't want to come off as needy to her and at the same time save money on my bulging phone bill. We're talking about international long distance rates baby. The prices are steep.

Yuri was a girl I had met some three years ago just after my breakup with my ex girlfriend. She on the other hand was left behind by her Japanese husband and was under a lot of stress. Somehow without noticing it, we clicked. We had gone out a couple of times with good friends that time but somehow I felt an invisible barrier that permitted us from being in the friends zone. We were friends but not totally. That part of my life was very crucial for me. I had been an emotional wreck, in pieces coming out from a very traumatic relationship. What could I do? Love makes you do the stupidest things.

The gamer in me wanted to change things. This time it would be different; I even felt different. Every little thing I had learned from the community would be battle tested. From having spent time reading books on the mystery method, watching videos of Zan in the way of the naturals. They were teachers off the field. I had met up with other great Filipino pickup artists. They were my infield teachers. Smooth, Stephenne, Charlattan and X do stuff infield. One of my unspoken mentors Ladies Drink discussed to me his advice regarding Filipino women and pepper's comments on various infield situations. I had my game assessed by my wings Tonsy and Vegas, sought countless advices from my wing woman Delight on the woman's perspective. This journey enabled me to meet people from all walks of life such as Bladerivers a legendary Pua that resided in a province north of the Metro. Though we haven’t met, we shared a friendship online. Most of all I had gone out with women. Not necessarily 10's or 11's on the visual rating scale but women of value and quality. For me they were 15's. It was time to game a girl that I really liked.

With all of that said and done somehow the back of my mind said “You’re not ready yet”
It flashed in my mind. Recently, I had made a choice to remove alcohol whenever I was gaming. I wanted to revamp my game and take it to a new level less the alcohol. Back in the day never really had problems kiss closing and making out whenever it was in my system. This elixir of power had made me stronger without my inhibitions. Sticking out of my game was my weakness. I could never make out without any form of alcohol in my system. Pulling the trigger was one of many steps needed to be accomplished in order to get the girl.. I was afraid of it but I'm already here, in Japan. There was no way of turning back as I needed to trudge on.

World of the Hosts

Sitting on the table at Peugot bar I observed my surroundings. It was a normal bar, fairly quaint but nonetheless a happy place. Martin’s co-workers had welcomed me as I was one of them. This bar had several attractions, the band Martin played in, a hiphop dance group, a karaoke singer but all of them had one common denomination, all of them where guys. All of them had their thing to do but once they finished their performances they were in the field entertaining the customers. It doesn’t take a lot of brains to decipher what kind of place I had stumbled in.

Observing the body language of the guys on how they interacted with their customers. I was in the world of the Japanese hosts. As said to me by Martins co-worker named Carlo “Welcome to the world of the Japayuki boys!” and my friend Martin was one of them. I was stunned. It never occurred to me that one of my friends would ever do a job like that.

They had customers, mostly girls but don't get me wrong. These girls were hot Japanese girls that looked like dolls for display and rivaled the girls on a hot Embassy Wednesday or Fiama Friday night. I shit you not my friends, they could even be hotter. They wore dresses and mid riffs in this Filipino styled bar but what was most memorable about them was that they gamed the guys. The roles were reversed. They were the aggressors and the guys were the ones being hunted.
Martin gave me the opportunity of letting me meet their “sacho” meaning the one who managed them. He said to me
“In this line of business, sperm is gold” sacho told me.
“How come?” I curiously asked.
“They’re hungry for you so they give you gifts as way of winning your dick, once they tasted you, it’s over. Goodbye freebies”.
Martin had previously stated that he had acquired a bicycle here in Japan and it cost around 15,000php. He admitted to me after a few hours that it was a gift from one of his customers. Martin had disclosed to me that these girls weren't getting any. The Filipino girls rejected Japanese dicks for being small and Japanese girls weren't being fucked by their Japanese counterparts. No wonder Japan has a negative birth rate this year. It’s a big deal to a country especially that there were more people dying than being born. Maybe it was the lack having sex for these girls and it was up to these guys to bring adventure to these lovely ladies.

Hosto Mucho Dinero Rules (excerpts from conversations with the hosto boys)

1. “Ang tamud namin dito ay ginto!”
2. “Di bale nang pangit basta may mahuhuthut”
3. “The customer is always right.. basta may mahuhuthut”
4. “Hindi kami pokpok, malibog lang talaga kami.”
5. “Walang agawan ng customer tulad ng ginawa ni Robert kay Kuya Aki”
6. “Ang pekpek ay pang jakol sa titi namin.”

Extended scene (may binabanatan si Robert na babae sa banyo ng Peugot, mga tatlong sawsaw pa lang na pa doggie)
Kuya Aki kinakatok ang pintuan..
Kuya Aki: Robert!!!
Tok.. tok.. tok..
Kuya Aki: Robert!!!
Tok.. tok.. tok..
Kuya Aki: Akin yan eh..!!!
Tok.. tok.. tok.
Kuya Aki: Nang-aano ka eh!!!

Blood started to pump into me. Damn it! I was envious. There was no way this kind of unusual arrangement would happen at home. And to add to my growing jealousy I was watching from afar of how a hot Filipino girl was trying to grab Carlo's dick playfully saying “Is it big?”
Carlo jokingly replied “This ain't for free..” pulling back
I was in awe. Hot Japanese girls/Filipino girls gaming normal Filipino guys? And all you have to do is lay back and let them chase you? And what? There’s more? You get freebies and money too? This was pickup heaven.

Martin along with his girlfriend Dina had agreed to bring me to wherever Yuri was at after his gig. The couple and I had took the train for a couple of minutes towards her place at Shinjuku a suburb of Tokyo and the supposed meeting place was a restaurant named Charlie's'.

I was there heavily dressed with my peacocks on even though I had a lack of sleep and a lack of taking a bath that time since the gig ended at 8am and we had to shoot for Shinjuku, in a hurry. I had took a deep breath moments before Yuri came and said to myself that “it’s make or break”
She came and said “Hi”
“Hello” I said with a smile on my face.
She sat down and finally the game had begun.

Let the games begin

As she sat down an air of discomfort blew over me. The barrier was still there. I was thinking whether I would hug her or not since we never did hugs in the past. I didn't.
“So how is it going? Its been quite awhile..” I said struggling to get my composure back in my opening line.
“Fine, I guess” She said as if she was holding back.
Protection shield I figured. “So, how are you?” I asked again so that she can in turn ask how I was and time to respond by DHVing myself since I haven't established myself as a man of value in her eyes.
Kiwi: I've been really busy establishing my company. It’s not earning that much yet but
hopefully soon, It will.
Yuri: Oh yeah? That’s really nice. What else have you been doing?
Kiwi: Mostly work. Actually, me and my partners are planning on establishing a casino soon.
You should go there sometime so that I can take away your money. Hehehe.

I never really liked the conversation here. It was slow yet I was smiling like crazy at the sight of her. Even Martin and Dina noticed as they moved in and out of our table to give us space. Anyways since we were all common friends we it was mostly a meet and greet situation. Fluff talk and plowing. I had also told her that I had stumbled on the community of guys who were good with girls and I was actually learning the ways of women. I had managed to tell her that I was different from the last time she saw me. I was not sad anymore. Finally Martin couldn't take it. He was really sleepy. Yuri had suggested to move to her apartment so that Martin and Dina could take a rest at her spare room. We were isolated in the living room finally.

Yuri: I have to show you something
Kiwi: Whats that?
Yuri: This..

She had taken out a book. I couldn't remember the nam
e but it was a “how to on dealing with a man on dating” and another book “Why men sleep after sex”. There was more. She had the chick code. Yes ladies and gentlemen. It is out there.

An attraction switch in me flipped. Somehow the prey I was targeting had game too. I had the game on the other hand while she had the chick code on her side of the story. My jaw dropped. I had asked Yuri to read some of the chapters. I wanted to debate with her the concepts.

“Always communicate to a man that you are busy” she read.
“Fuck” I said in my head. She was gaming me.
She told Martin that she was busy on text to make me want her more. She was drawing me out.

I used this opportunity to build comfort. Doing my push and pull tactics by not agreeing to everything the book says about males whenever I felt it was going over the line. I used mirroring and suggestive language to escalate the situation. I did my kino but slowly since you had to tone it down whenever the situation is alcohol-less. I hate my revamp on my game. Suddenly, something weird happened. The situation started slowing itself down like the matrix. I was thinking faster, responding naturally without thinking. There was so much time to think and more importantly react. I felt like I was Neo, I was the one. Ladies drink and X had explained to me this phenomenon, that it does happen like that once you reached a certain level of proficiency.
I was running out of time as we had to end my 330. It was already 2. I had to phase shift and make things happen.

Kiwi: I heard that you have a lot of cute Japanese girlfriends..
Yuri: Of course, I could introduce you
Kiwi: But what I really like... is Filipino girls..(As I faced her eyes with a piercing look)
Stacked conversation continues
Kiwi: You know what? I remembered this time a girl I used to hang out with a lot asked me something that somehow stuck in my mind.
Flashback three years earlier, Yuri and Me hanging out in Petron SLEX one afternoon. I was a sad boy thinking deeply about a lost cause. Yuri then blurts out:

“What if I was your girlfriend?”
I responded like a pussy “I don't know.”
“So tell me, how good of a kisser are you?”
I said five..
You don't really have to answer a question like that. You just kiss. BAD KIWI!!!

Fast forward to reality
Kiwi: What if I was your girlfriend?(while I was still looking at her).
I always think of it..and I could never forget it. Maybe if I said yes to her we'd still be together to this day and we'd be happier in our lives
Yuri:....
Yuri: yeah..

I took the liberty to take her back at that time in order to rekindle those feelings again. I used the language of suggestion since I had read somewhere that girls responded well to suggestion.

Kiwi: You know what. I remembered you calling me before you left for japan two years ago.
You wanted me to meet you at Alabang Town Center(I didn't go because I was with a girl). I wish I went...
Yuri: …
Stacked Conversation
Yuri: You know what? I really like the business type of guys.
Kiwi: ....(That’s me! Did she just say it suggestively?)

It became clearer now. She was backwards rationalizing everything that we had talked about. At the start of our conversation back in Charlie’s, I was establishing myself as an up and coming businessman. Mid game, she was telling me how she went for the hot guys, now she was hinting and communicating in code that she liked me too.
Yuri's roommate Erica suddenly comes in. we get introduced. Flirt with her a little bit and gained her approval as a friend, apparently she knows that somehow that something is going on between me and Yuri.

Erica: Why don't you guys hug each other?
Yuri: We don't really hug each other..
Kiwi goes in for the hug.
Yuri: Hey I got chocolates for you. It has a cute case too. Winnie the pooh so that you can remember me.

I had recently read the game and I did my own thing too. Something I got from one of the greatest pickup artists in the world..I reached for the Superman dog tag I was wearing, removed it and put it on her.

Kiwi: This is not yours but you will return it to me the next time you see me.
Yuri: thanks(with a smile)
Kiwi: I'm not Superman right now, I'm only Clark Kent
She laughed.. In my mind, it was like one of the lamest lines I said ever. She must
really dig me since I'm perceiving it as an IOI.

I had to wake Martin up it was 330pm. I moved across the room while I rested but within sight of Yuri.Yuri was talking to Dina and Martin while I exchanged glances with her. The feeling by this time was synonymous to what King Leonidas(of 300) felt for her queen before he left for battle. She knew I was sad because I had to leave but I couldn't show a sign of weakness. The game was played like this. I couldn't show a sign of weakness but somehow the girls(Dina and Erica) in the area knew of my sadness of leaving her behind. Then I did an arm by arm with her as she escorted me out the room. Martin blurted out.

“Picture, Picture” click, click..
“Kiwi and Yuri!” click, click..

“Kiwi, Pick Yuri up” click, click..

As I went out of the room again something weird happened. The kino had escalated suddenly to such a high degree in seconds. You could categorize it as lover kino with her responding as if she had ran out of time and we were touching each other like crazy. I came up to her and touched the dog tag dangling between her breasts and said lovingly into her eyes.

Kiwi: You have my lucky dog tag. Take good care of it and wear it a lot.
( I see the kiss.. this is the moment..)
I ended kissing the dog tag..
Then we hugged so tight..
I smelled her hair.
She felt it.

Leave.. Left with heavy feet. I didn't want to go.. not yet.. I want my Day 2..

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 8:53AM FROM NAGOYA, JPN

A Very Personal Message To A Certain Someone

2008-03-11T09:25:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

If there's anything people should know, it's that I love using my blog to communicate directly to certain someones in my personal life. Call it one of a normal person's great perks. I just think its awesome. Who can forget such entries as "gusto mo meyn?" and "blogger of the year awards"(i love making stuff up along the way too)?

I thought I'd send one more message out to a very special person. You know who you are, babe(wink, wink.. hahahahaha). I'm sure I could call you to tell you this(but too bad I don't have your number..boo!), but I might as well wait until you stumble on a blog tucked deep inside a sea of blog among blogs.

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 12:38AM FROM LAS PINAS, MLA

kohol says hi!

2008-02-26T08:01:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

hi everybody, since a lot of things in my life don't usually go as well as planned, I'm doing this as it goes along the way.. anyways, this is my good friend kohol, and he wants to say hi!=)

anyways, Dan got mr. shuli for my friend teta and this special person got kohol for me. yay! hehehehe

actually kohol is mr. shuli's sideckick. hahahaha. don't they look good together?

*mongolian barbecue used to be a show about two guys posing as mongolians and delivering nasty slapstick jokes, I used to laugh it out when I was a kid watching this show.

*the names mr shuli and kohol are taken from the popular show named "mongolian barbecue" shown on philippine television in the 90's

the two "in action". teta, mr. shuli is so cute with his hair and kohol is soo bad ass with his hair shaved!

oopsss! what the f**** are you guys doing!? this was suppossed to be a man's show! what are you guys doing!? your messing it up!!!

Oh Daniel! You sweetie, you..

2008-01-10T07:17:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

Kiwi would like to present a portfolio of his best photographic shots. . .

People meet Mr. Shuli the cell phone holder. He has graciously accepted the honor of being my first experiment at photography. A brief history on Mr. Shuli to follow..

So he gave she a stuffed toy.. She named him Mr. Shuli.. the lovable cellphone holder! yey! hehehehehe. It actually is believe it or not.

Mr. Shuli in his best angle yet. You gotta love that smile..

and this is me saying hi... hope to meet you soon..

POSTED BY KIW VERGARA AT 11:34 PM FROM LAS PINAS, MLA

kiwi's bucket list when the right girl comes along

2007-12-09T08:28:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

1. get her flowers on a normal day
2. sing her everything by michael buble' while a lot of people are watching
3. introduce her to all of kiwi's friends and family
4. take her out on a lavish dinner
5. let her put makeup on kiwi and let her do kiwi's nails
6. tuck her in whenever shes sleeping
7. and of course, kiss her goodnight
8. cook for her
9. be a big bro to her siblings
10. be close to her dad and mom
11. always hold her hand(even though mines sweating)
12. defend her honor when a guy abuses it
13. scold her when she does something wrong
14. let her win from time to time
15. treat her like a queen on my pedestal
16. take her to church every Sunday
17. watch chick flicks with her
18. be a friend when she needs one and cheer her up eventually
19. watch her go to sleep
20. hug her all the time
21. make an effort to smile at her even though I'm grumpy
22. take her shopping
23. be her mr. right
24. take her out on a hot date
24. pig out with her with anything she wants to eat
25. sing her to sleep
26. play with her hair
27. smell her
28. let her sleep on my lap
29. watch the sunset with her at tagaytay
30. make her laugh all the time
32. teach her jiu jitsu or any self defense martial art
32. tell her a pickup line every now and then
33. propose to her
34. and the list goes on....

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 12:50 AM FROM LAS PINAS, MLA

No one wants to be alone at Christmas time

2007-09-04T11:20:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

Being in the starting days of september which is equivalent of "close to christmas" here in the Philippines, I've taken back a step to view the life that I lead in the most recent time. I can say to you that its not the great life I imagined it to be. My personal goal back when I was eighteen that I'd be getting married by the age of 25 with the girl of my dreams and figured out what I wanna do for the rest of my life.. Fast forwarding a couple of heart breaks and seven years later, I'm single, flat broke and still don't have a clue of what I want to do in my life. This guy used to say that I wanna be a filthy rich businessman. Saying that was easy but doing it is harder than what you actually think. Having said that I guess it would be fair to give myself an C minus for not having accomplished these goals in that time period. You see, you don't really get what you planned for all those long years in high school and college. Reality as I have experienced it, totally got me off guard. So what now? I have totally no idea..

I'm going to continue to clear my head and do some purposely non-kiwi stuff... I can geek out like you have no idea. Well, maybe you do.

Going back to the topic of the "ber" months signifying christmas times, I'm looking forward of it not being that cold as compared to last year(if you know what I'm saying and if you really knew what I went through last christmas). Give me a break Lord.

I remember this story of a guy who loved his girlfriend so much who was living in another country. this guy found out months later after they broke up that she got pregnant by some other guy. He hurriedly packed his bags and went off to chase this girl overseas not knowing the place or the people in the place she was in. I remember him telling me frankly that taking that trip "felt like taking more than a thousand miles just to see this girl." To sum it all up he was narrating that it was pure torture. Which was seeing the girl of his dreams sad and pregnant. The thought of it scares me. No other person should ever endure the pain this guy was holding. Some people are born lucky, some are not. I share the same sentiments to this friend having experienced a lot in my life. You deserve better. "Cheers sa mga sawi mga chong!"

Now I gotta figure out how not to be alone come christmas time...

I've been listening to a lot of emo music recently and

I guess I'm listening to lots of emo music because 26 is right around the corner, and that's a great time in life to lose yourself to everything and come back out better than before. Time for me to plan these 'things' that I don't know if any of them will be followed come deadlines..

26. Man, that's a whole other post. I'll tell you, when my early 20s get the bow tied on them, I just don't know how much better they could be for anyone. Time to let things happen. My new assignment would be to ask my closest friends(age 26 of course) whats its like to be 26. This wil be a start.

Thanks for listening to what I have to say. It's time to go back to wondering how I don't let you down after reading this long self narrated biography of my life still... Something will come to mind, I'm sure.

like this song echoing my feelings right now.

Thank you, thank you, thank you.

See you guys soon...

Here comes a cold
Break out the winter clothes
And find a love to call your own
You - enter you
Your cheeks a shade of pink
And the rest of you in powder blue

Who knows what will be
But I'll make you this guarantee

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time

In the dark, on the phone
You tell me the names of your brothers
And your favorite colors
I'm learning you
And when it snows again
We'll take a walk outside
And search the sky
Like children do
I'll say to you

No way November will see our goodbye
When it comes to December it's obvious why
No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
And come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?

And we'll both be safe 'til St. Patrick's Day

We should take a ride tonight around the town
and look around at all the beautiful houses
something in the way that blue lights on a black night
can make you feel more
everybody, it seems to me, just wants to be
just like you and me

No one wants to be alone at Christmas time
Come January we're frozen inside
Making new resolutions a hundred times
February, won't you be my valentine?

And if our always is all that we gave
And we someday take that away
I'll be alright if it was just 'til St. Patrick's Day

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 11:47 PM FROM LAS PINAS CITY, MLA

Non-violent pillaging

2007-04-08T07:41:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

Politics has always been a major issue in the Philippines. Most people would usually say that politics here is so bad that I usually get comments such as "We're the most corrupt country in asia" or "The Filipinoes have managed to perfect the art of corruption". With the incoming elections slowly coming around I can truly say that politics is in the air. To add to the spirit of that, I've been taking note of the advertisments being shown on t.v., print and radio. Those were good laughs especially the one with that famous Willie Revillame song. If you haven't heard that now, I honestly suggest you go watch local t.v. for a couple of hours and wait for it. Anyways, I've taken a few snapshots of some of the print adds that stood out. Here are some of the pictures:

PUBLIC NOTICE: The owner of this blog is not advertizing any of of the pictures that are depicted as follows. Any comments posted here will always be perceived to be in good faith and in the spirit reading entertainment. So, wag kayong ma offend ha. I mean you guys advertized yourself. All I'm saying is what I'm writing is just plain good clean fun. No personal attacks intended. Okay?

Talk about capitalizing on Pinoy Big brothers fame.

NOTICE TO KUYA: Its not that wer'e trying to evict you but Kuya, your'e not the only kuya in town anymore. I mean this could turn into sheer bitter rivalry(much like the intense rivalry of La Salle and Ateneo come UAAP season) about who the real kuya is and who the real kuya should be. This could be big people. I'm theorizing that a rivalry this big could spark a political debate among peers that could topple the very fabric of the fragile space time continuum. Of course granted Manny Pacqiao would fight for the honor of the Filipino people instead of running for President, all else is lost. Not unless he throws in a couple of beers for everybody yet again that would be really nice. I just love the idea of Manny Pacqiao knocking everybody out not with his fists but with the shameless abuse of alcohol. Yee-Haw!

[PA Sound system going on] Check! Check Check! KIWIVERGARA.MULTIPLY.COM would like to apologize for the rather isoteric nature of the previous phrases. We promise to return kiwi vergara to sanity soon.

I could just imagine this in my mind. [People screaming] "DAVE KA NA BA!!!???" Then they reply "DAVE NA DAVE NA!!!". hahahahahaha. I can't get it out of my mind. It just works..hahahahaha

Don't you just love the way he poses ala boxer.hehehehe. Action man? Don't kid me because I'm already laughing out loud. I'm sure there's a much more appropriate term describing the term "action". Being an avid martial artist myself, the fighting stance to me has always been a sign of impending violence or a sign of upholding and reiterating a manhood. Its just so ironic that given the fighting stance, one has to smile. That could get you sucker punched in the face a thousand times and knock the be-jesus out of you. Of course, you see stars after that. I mean, your fighting right? Theres a vivid picture that comes to mind. Its UFC's Big John Mcarthy yelling "WHY YOU SMILIN'!!?? YOU FIGHTING!!!!". hahahaha

I still believe that they should keep politics clean although that my friends, is a distant possibility thats near to impossible from happening here in this country. Thats it people. Hopefully I'll be posting more soon before elections. Change the country, vote wisely everybody!

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 04:32 PM FROM LAS PINAS, MLA

John Mayer live in New York

2007-03-10T03:58:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

U2 Lyrics - Stay (Faraway, So Close!)

2007-02-19T11:25:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

my newest song addiction.. It makes me feel something bittersweet. I don't know if its the melody or some of the lines of the lyrics but thats just it. To me its bittersweet.. suddenly i feel nothing..

Green light, Seven Eleven
You stop in for a pack of cigarettes
You don't smoke, don't even want to
Hey now, check your change
Dressed up like a car crash
Your wheels are turning but you're upside down
You say when he hits you, you don't mind
Because when he hurts you, you feel alive
Hey babe, is that what it is

Red lights, gray morning
You stumble out of a hole in the ground
A vampire or a victim
It depend's on who's around
You used to stay in to watch the adverts
You could lip synch to the talk shows

And if you look, you look through me
And when you talk, you talk at me
And when I touch you, you don't feel a thing

If I could stay...
Then the night would give you up
Stay...and the day would keep its trust
Stay...and the night would be enough

Faraway, so close
Up with the static and the radio
With satelite television
You can go anywhere
Miami, New Orleans
London, Belfast and Berlin

And if you listen
I can't call
And if you jump, you just might fall
And if you shout,
I'll only hear you

If I could stay...
Then the night would give you up
Stay...then the day would keep its trust
Stay...with the demons you drowned
Stay...with the spirit I found
Stay...and the night would be enough

Three o'clock in the morning
It's quiet and there's no one around
Just the bang and the clatter

As an angel runs to ground
Just the bang
And the clatter
As an angel Hits the ground

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 03:34 PM FROM LAS PINAS, MLA

ikaw pa rin

2007-02-08T07:54:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

i can't seem to get the this song out of my head. It just plays on and on and on. I first heard this song from that movie by Sharon Cuneta and Andrew E called "Megamol" wherein they mixed the song with rap. Weird combination huh? I still liked it. Fell in love with the Sitti Navarro version but to my surprise, I think Ceasar Montano sang this song originally. I'm not sure if I'm right though. Not much info pops up on the net about this song. So much for the Jose Rizal and Swash buckling captian actor. hahahahahaha.

Marami na akong nahalikan
Marami pang labing matitikman
Kay rami nang napusuan
Di na mabilang kung ilan
Ngunit ganun pa man ikaw pa rin
Ikaw pa rin ang siyang pangarap ko
Di ko man lang alam pangalan mo
Ako'y iyong nginitianAt magmula noon
Ang laging nasa isip ko ikaw pa rin

Instrumental

Pangalan mo'y di ko alam
Ngunit saan ka man
Ngayon bukas kailan pa man (Repeat 2x)
Ikaw pa rin

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 12:02 AM FROM LAS PINAS, MLA

I don't love you

2007-01-11T11:59:00.001-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

I don't love you - Pablo Neruda

I don't love you as if you were the salt-rose, topaz or arrow of carnations that propagate fire: I love you as certain dark things are loved, secretly, between the shadow and the soul.
I love you as the plant that doesn't bloom and carries hidden within itself the light of those flowers, and thanks to your love, darkly in my body lives the dense fragrance that rises from the earth.
I love you without knowing how, or when, or from where, I love you simply, without problems or pride: I love you in this way because I don't know any other way of loving
But this, in which there is no I or you, so intimate that your hand upon my chest is my hand, so intimate that when I fall asleep it is your eyes that close.

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 12:01 PM FROM SAN FRANSISCO, CA

thoughts

2007-01-09T15:41:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

"The virtuous spirit has no need for thanks or approval... only the certain conviction that what has been done is right..."

thats something in my mind right now that I'm pondering on..

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 03:40 PM FROM SAN FRANSISCO, CA

realizations as of 2006

2007-01-04T23:41:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

A lot as happened from the time I came here. The experience has been fullfilling to myself as I have realized stuff I never bothered to think about

1. Staying in a country away from home during the holidays made me miss all the good stuff I've been taking for granted in the Philippines. Like the weather for instance. Its so cold out here for cryin out loud.

2. I miss my family so much. I just found out recently that I sooo love them and that it took a trip a thousand mile caliber trip just to realize their worth.

3. I've gaind about a good 8 lbs more. putting them on was easy compared to the hassle of shedding them off when i get back home. Jon, back to the punching bag again and practicing the art of breaking bones on the ground(jiu jitsu) or so they call it.

4. "You" are a crappy liar. You heard me. C-R-A-P-P-Y. You're hiding something for me that you didn't say. You even had to take a second making up crap to say to me. That was a dead giveaway. I saw your eyes swell up while you were saying stuff to me. Theres nothing in this world thats worse as a liar ore even worse, a bad liar. Why can't you just tell me the truth? I know theres still something because you still cry about even the simplest things like them flowers i gave you.

5. My dad and mom are great people. I'm so proud of them even before but now, I'm even prouder. A lot of people even here in the states that have known them from even the time I wasn't born have been regarding them to the highest degree. I'm so lucky and blessed to have them for my parents. Sometimes it makes me, a battle hardened warrior in life shed tears for them because I miss them a lot. Makes me wonder how will I ever live up to the name. Anyways, cheers to you mom and dad.

6. I've gone a long way in my life. I've learned a lot and experienced even more. I guess it paid off with my unending pledge to myself to make myself even a much more better person today as compared to yesterday and an even more better person tomorrow and the days to come. Uncle Harold told me that I'm pretty much mature compared for a twenty four year old. I didn't expect it from him, an American senior at the age of 75. It felt nice to be appreciated especially from someone full of wisdom and knowledge of the makings of this world. Don't worry uncle Harold, I won't let you down. I now know myself and what I want to be. I'm gonna be alright.

7. People here in the states have been really good to me so I would like to thank you from the bottom of my heart. I've been getting a lot of freebies so I figured that I pass the favor forward. I've taken the liberty of getting the people back at home with 'pasalubong' that costs a considerable amount of money. It wouldn't be fair if I hogged all the stuff and money all for myself.

8. I'm looking forward to meeting a lot of new people back at home. I've been practicing the art of "small talk" here. Americans are such a fan of it although they dont really know that they've been small talking a lot. I'm not so sure if it would work back at home since people there are pretty 'snub' about it as compared to Filipinoes here wherein they'ed drop a line as simple as "hello kababayan".

9. Its nice being friends with the family of your ex especially her dad. I never imagined I would fall in love with them in a short amount of time. The family has their own flaws but i guess thats the beauty of it. The challenge of setting aside differences and working together to hurdle past problems that they encounter. What would life be without the challenges? I've seen them smile, laugh and even to the point of tears. I miss them a lot. I guess they're the family I will never have...

10. Of course, I miss my friends back at home. Kudos to teta, rumors(mark,jasyon,johnny,arjay and jm), chris masami, franz, kuya leo patapat, sharon, jas, tabby, sarah, tinay,eric, sir romeo and sir noel, jb, sam, kris, tok, jun, mar, jay-r, ejie, pat, pau, franz, kd, chino, mon, bart, tin, nikki, jay-r patron, mico, jans, jj, jon-jon, jason, ec, dj, aubrey, cesca, rash, mark omega, carl, nydia,employees of phaethon inc, missa, nhel, cas, ken, and many more. you know who you are so dont be getting mad at me if i didn't mention your name. Thank you for making my life more meaningful. We'll see each other soon.

11. Looking forward to meeting a girl named georgia...

12. This is getting way too long..I better stop..

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 12:15 AM FROM TRACY, CA

Someday

2007-01-03T11:31:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

this is what i want to feel maybe sometime in the next couple of weeks..still in the process of repairing myself..gotta move on..

Someday you're gonna realize
One day you'll see this though my eyes
By then I won't even be there
I'll be happy somewhere
Even if I cared I know you don't really see my worth
You think you're the best girl on earth
Well I've got news for you
I know I'm not that strong
But it won't take long
Won't take long
Someday someone's gonna love me
The way I wanted you to need me
Someday someone's gonna take your place
One day I'll forget about you
Someday someday
Right now I know you can tell I'm down and I'm not doing well
But one day these tears they will all run dry
I won't have to cry, sweet goodbye

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 11:18 AM FROM LOS ANGELES, CA

Dreaming With A Broken Heart

2006-12-28T17:11:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

when you're dreaming with a broken heart the waking up is the hardest part you roll outta bed and down on your knees and for the moment you can hardly breathe wondering was she really here? is she standing in my room? no she's not, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.... when you're dreaming with a broken heart the giving up is the hardest part she takes you in with your crying eyes then all at once you have to say goodbye wondering could you stay my love? will you wake up by my side? no she can't, 'cause she's gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.... oooooooooohhhhhhhhh now do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand? do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand? do i have to fall asleep with roses in my hand? baby won't you get them if i did? no you won't, 'cause you're gone, gone, gone, gone, gone.... when you're dreaming with a broken heart the waking up is the hardest part

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 5:13 AM FROM BAKERSFIELD, CA

Cool sounding movie caliber lines with the word "dog" in it

2006-12-24T02:56:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

I figured that not a lot of movie lines that concerned dogs in it only stay short with lines such as "good dog!" or a "go fetch doggie!". Putting some thought to it, I used whatevers left of my wasted brain coming up with something catchy if not witty. After a considerable amount of thinking,uh.. almost half a day wasted, I came up with some lines that if not nominated for an Academy award should be good enough for a sitcom or a sci-fi action film.Check out the corresponding comments that follow the line. Yes ladies and getlemen, I'm also critiquing and adding some stuff up to my work
1. "I'm not sure if youre seeing it but the dog is blind" (In the scene a guy is pointing a finger at the dog after seeing it jump from the couch unwary that there is a table near it, therefore bashing its head on a hard piece of wood)
2. "I'm not about to lose half my men on a simple squabble, dog gone it!" (I'm asking Mr. Stanley Kubrick, the great director of Full Metal Jacket to come up with some sort of war movie in order to shove this line in)
3. "The bomb is in the dogs ass!!" (after Jack Bauer, Keifer Sutherland's character in the show 24 actually discovers that the bomb is actually in the dogs ass a few seconds before it blows up)
4. "Dawg, I ain't know nuthin about nuthin" (I'm suggesting that this line go to a movie with a hip-hop theme. I'd pay big bucks for Denzel to say this line)
5. "I couldn't see any way it would work. Planes scare me, I always carry a fanny pack all the time, so I'd rather play with dogs" (I'm still thinking of what kind of script I would put this in. Any suggestions everbody?)
6. "We may not know not now the consequences but doggie dandruff is very real, in fact, its spreading at a very alarming rate.." (After a character with the likes of Dr. Allan Grant of Jurrasic Park or some of them interns in Grey's Anatomy makes a speach in front of his colleagues. He discovers the not so deadly virus strain 5 years into the future)
7. "they can take away the house or even the Ferrari but please, leave the dog alone.." (The male lead makes feisty words in a dramtic defense of the dog being taken away by the local police. Lassie or Partrash,the dog of Flanders or even Santas little helper could play the part of the bewilgered canine)
Yeah, well they should put more more effort of putting dogs into more dramatic roles if not comedic roles. I know. I know it may sound lame but I'm leaving it to directors such as John Woo or a James Cameron to make these scenes look cooler and Tom Hanks or a Tom Cruise to make the lines sound even better on screen.Yep, we got a lotta dog lines in competition out there..

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 1:26 AM FROM LOS ANGELES, CA

kabaliwan ni kiwi dec 10,2006

2006-12-09T23:12:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

this happened when i was talking to some girl on ym.the imenvironment was doodle.after she logged out, I kinda doodled some things that came right off my mind..here are some of the things i wrote to the full extent of what i remember..

love song by 311
whenever i'm alone with you..
hahahahaha
would you believe me
if i told you
im still looking for the old ____..
still calling that old number..
09224273660..
hoping shes there to answer
but i guess you never will..
cuz your
gone..gone..gone..gone..
Maybe in the next life we'll be together..
if I'm lucky
we could be love birds or somethin..
hehehehe
one cant live without the other
but for now
like the song says..
love song by 311
i will always love you..
oh how long
have i kept these words inside
it wouldn't be the same
when we finally see each other again
kabaliwan ni kiwi
december 10, 2006
i hope that you picked the right guy for you
anyways..
i will always be your friend
to back you up
it was good while it lasted
goodbye _______
too bad
you wont ever find out the words im saying right now

i just dont want to forget the things that happened tonight. might be an act of insanity of what i felt but guess what..it was real. And I'd like to remember that for the rest of my life.. Well, its just me in my kabaliwan state

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 11:12 PM FROM CHICAGO, IL

elantra girls

2006-11-01T10:06:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

saw them at a local isawan in the area..hehehe..wish i could see them again.most of all, wish i could see the girl in pink someday..Dear Lord, I wish I could see them again, this time I wish it wont be another staring standoff session. Hopefully the next time, I can get to talk to them and stuff..hehehe.thanks Lord.Ü

the things that happen to good guys

2006-09-23T22:17:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

theres's nothing else much harsher in this world than getting your heart broken again by the same person. I guess people like me can't help it. She comes to you saying things that I don't really know if they still mean anything to them. I feel like an emotional door mat and I can't do anything about it. I try not to, but its just to hard to let go of someone you loved. Maybe one day when I grow wiser, I'd be free of this misery. But for now theres nothing else to do but to wallow and live through this suffering. I'm crying inside. The pleasure of tears and letting it out is out of my reach. I just wish that when she says "I love you" she has the courage to back it up. Words are hollow without any action. There are a lot of questions in my mind like a "why?" or a "how?". Nothing much to mdo about it. Hayyy, the irony of life. All my life I've tried to be good. I've respected women, been active at church, God fearing, been a good friend...I don't know why this happens to me. Its just my luck or maybe I'm starting to think that I had clearly chosen the wrong person to love. I'm not really sure if shes the one. I'm confused right now and I don't know what to do. Its a bittersweet feeling, the melanchoy of love and distrust. You hate the person at the same time love them also. I'm thinking that these stuff only happens in the movies but guess I was wrong. hahaha. God, I think I'm going crazy. Even trying to laugh at the situation when clearly its everything opposite. God, help me.

Something harder than breaking up

2006-08-07T01:50:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

People often assume that breaking up is one of the hardest things to do in a relationship. That being the one who initiates it the hardest because of things that might ruin the image of the person due to some reasons of the breakup. What I think is harder is to actually give up the person you love. She did break up with me. I cried and I cried to the point that i drank up all the alcohol in the world just to ease te pain. The break up was hard to handle in its own self. She was cold to me uttering words that I thought she would never say. I will never forget that day.She called me a few number of times after that, I felt that there was this ray of light that signified hope, that our relationship has not come to an end. Finally she tells me that she can't take it anymore. That the situation we are currently in is still unacceptable. I tried so hard to make it work but I guess there are some things that are out of your reach. You cannot please everybody. It hit me, "I guess its time to let you go. Its time to give you up". That did it for me. I cried and cried all over again. Suddenly the feeling of remorse comes over you. As if someone has actually died but nobody really died. I'm really gonna miss everything. Every little thing that constituted our relationship. Goodbye long distance calls, goodbye dreams of being together forever, goodbye at chances and risks to be taken in a relationship, lastly, goodbye love. We gave it a try but it still didn't work. I loved you with all my heart and gave you everything that I could give. I pray that the next one you meet and be with would not necessarily be the man of your dreams but be the right one for you. Take care always, may God bless you in your future endeavors

john mayer interview teasers number 2

2006-08-04T01:28:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

as the two gifted artists are gearing for the third and final installment of the higly succesful k&j live series, now they present their fans with a taste of whats more to come. In an interview with Mayer by MTV he says "Although I've been busy working working with my alatest album, I'm really excited to work with Kiwi again". The grammy award wining playlist maker Kiwi Vergara coments that "its gonna be great so you guys better watch out for it".Check it out soon, only at http://kiwivergara.multiply.com

gig night!

2006-08-02T08:22:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

yesterday didn't really seem to be happy in my life. For starters, niki's grandmother was rushed to the hospital because she was vomitting blood and the father of my batchmate just died. To add to that another batchmate and friend is also dying soon. Plus this other secret I'm not supposed to divulge about some girl whos also a good friend. Too much sadness for me to take in one day. "Isa-isa lang sana", was just the words I was saying to myself the whole of yesterday. I got to drink them off at Chris' gig at marty's. It was fun really, hahahaha.I even sang a song which was really awful. I was out of note. Couldn't reach the high ones. Moe practice for me in the videoke I guess.hahahaha. But it was all good, it was a great experience all in all.hahaha. Sometimes you win and sometimes you lose. And this girl thats the subject in one of Chris' songs showed up to me and Chris' surprise.hahahaha. He wasn't prepared for it, I just laughed my socks off. Hey, if you guys reading this stuff are in any way free next tuesday, swing by Marty's(just beside elorde gym at sucat road) at around 9pm. Its a great place and you get to see a marvelous artist perform..All in all with the ups balancing with the downs., it was an okay night. I'm hoping next tuesday would be even better. I can't wait..

photos at http://kiwivergara.multiply.com

chris' gig at Marty's!

2006-07-26T22:44:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

I accompanied my friend chris at marty's last night. Apparently he was auditioning for this acoustic gig that hes been wanting to have for some time now since he stopped from doing gigs in order to study. Thank God he got the gig. He's playing every tuesdays now starting next week at around 9pm. Hey guys, if you have the time even if you don't know him, swing by Marty's next tuesday. I guarantee you a good time and don't bother about being op cuz I'll be there to entertain you aside from chris playing.Ü see you guys there.Ü

BEST BUY EXCLUSIVE EP

2006-07-25T11:13:00.000-07:00

Available soon, features the album version of Waiting On The World To Change, plus a bonus acoustic version of the song featuring Ben Harper and the studio version of "Good Love Is On The Way." Oh, hey... Let's get to this. Good Love is not on the album, and though some of you may hear it and think it sounds perfectly CD-worthy, it just didn't match the tone of the entire CD. I've been around you all long enough to know that if it was on the disc you'd have said it shouldn't have been, anyway. You are all crazy. 600 and something reviews on iTunes? For a single? What was your last review, a candle?Making fun of your fans... Always a winning strategy.POSTED BY JOHN MAYER AT 2:59 AM FROM NEW YORK, NY

Bah! I'm sure they won't be releasing a cd or the like of any of its kind anytime soon here in the Philippines.. =c Its time to cheer on them pirates to actually bring this cd here. Or we could ask a friends friend to buy it in the states and upload it on the net so we can download it here!? any suggestions people..?

POSTED BY KIWI VERGARA AT 2:10 AM FROM LAS PINAS, MANILA

http://kiwivergara.multiply.com

Phaethon Inc. Pinc for short

2006-07-24T00:11:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

Let me introduce you guys to my company. This has been what I've been doing these past few days.Here are some of the pictures of the manufacturing site in Sampaloc, Quezon Province. Its not quite ready yet. A few improvements are still being installed to the site.I'm there every Saturdays and Sundays so if you guys happen to pass by Quezon province, just holla at my phone..hehehehe..it tends to get lonely at nights over there..Wish me luck guys in my business.Ü

*pics can be seen at http://kiwivergara.multiply.com

Continuum

2006-07-23T12:32:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

Hello again people. Its been awhile, don't you guys think? Well, a lot has happened in the past few months that I'm still beginning to digest everything I've been through. Yes it was a roller coaster ride of emotions after the breakup. I didn't really sleep nor eat well, typical symptoms of a love that has been lost. I guess I'm okay now. Me and Niki, we've been talking, but I really don't know what to call our relationship right now. The best way to even call it is "uncalled for".. Now, I guess I've matured, grown a "little". So what's next for Kiwi Vergara? Aside from the Sam Milby smiles, I don't really know rght know except for the fact that I've been really busy these past few days working my ass off for the company. So i hope I'll be seeing mor of my friends after long hours spent on the company. See you guys soon ok?do keep in touch..

community service essay

2006-05-15T23:10:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

I have to admit that doing community service wasn't just a walk in the ballpark. When they said that it was hard, it was really hard. I had to see it for my eyes when I first set foot upon the humble adobe of what was called Marco Polo Home(orphanage). It was an experience for me to remember. Seeing all those children for the first time in my life. There were around 20 I think moving around being hyperactive and all. The job wasn't an easy task because from that experience we really had to be patient in order to make thes children listen. Most of them were running around in circles and playing around. We had to think up of stuff thats really kind of used up and silly just to grab an ounce of attention.

Overall, the expercience wasn't all that bad. I feel lucky that I have parents around to help support me in my life. Those children don't. It makes you think of what life could be without them, my school and all the stuff I've been receiving. Being poor is one thing from being orphaned. These children tackle these problems all at the same time.

I don't really have a solution for the problems these kids have but it really opened my eyes with the time I spent with them. Even though they get to my nerves at times you'll just love them whenever they hug you and play with you. With the smiles they always wear, who could resist smiing too.

sandalan

2006-05-08T22:00:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

Kanina pa kitang pinag mamasdan
Mukha mo'y di maipinta
Malungkot ka nanaman
Kanina pa kita
Inaalok ng kwentuhang masaya
Parang sayo'y balewala

Chorus:
Sige lang, sandala ka na
At wag mong pipigilan
Iiyak mo na ang lahat sa langit
Iiyak mo na ang lahat sa akin2x

Andito lang naman ako
Makikinig sayo sa buong magdamag
Sakin di ka balewala

dedicated to my good friend teta and some other girl..

the story of our life

2006-04-15T11:19:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

In one point of my life I met this beautiful girl in a coffee shop. There she was on her table sipping her coffee and waiving at me as I was by the counter. I guess these were the moments in your life that you would never forget. She smiled at me and that would be the start of a friendship that would later blossom into something beautiful as time went on. She had the sweetest smile. We both took a risk. Time flew by as if I didn't notice it and we were having the time of our lives together. We were so happy that we couldn't recognize life without each other. Single life was so distant. These were the moments that took my breath away. The moments that you have to live through. In which case life was inevitable. She had to move someplace else. Suddenly everything went wrong. It was my world turned upside down. What can I say? Sometimes you win some and sometimes you lose some. That still doesn't end to that. The pain still lingers. I feel so lost and confused. I don't know what to do. I don't know how to put you in my life. Where your place in my life should be. I feel so lonely. What should I do? I wish you had the answer because I'm hanging. I wish you could tell me. It hurt me when you asked me when you said you loved me the other day and you said you wanted friendship on the other. What do you really want from me? Do you even care with what I'm feeling? Would you even bother? I thought I was special. Special compared to the other guys youve been with in the past. I guess not. Im just the same. Some guy you went out with one day in the future when you tell your friends who I was in your life. I never imagined it would come to this. I'm sorry for all the bad things that I did to you. For the things I couldn't give you. I'm sorry if I wasn't a good boyfriend or friend when you needed me to be there. I'm sorry if there were times I failed you especially right now. I'm sorry if there were times that I didn't make you smile anymore because making you smile was all I ever lived for. I'll always miss holding your hand and watching you sleep and playing with your hair. I'll miss watching a movie with you then eating after and dancing with you in the midst of our friends.. Thank you for being wonderful. Thank you for being kind to me and loving me in the time we were together. For the smiles, the laughter and the joy. Even the fights which made me grew into a much better person. For making me into a person youve always described with a big heart.Thank you for teaching me how to love. Did you know that I used to dream of our house? With the screams of the children playing happily in the background. Little Kevin, Nicola, Kenzo and Ciara running around the house. Little Kevin and Nicola were little versions of ourselves while Kenzo looked like you and Ciara looked like me. You on the other hand cooking dinner for your husband coming home from work. I'd buy a hot sports car for the kids when they grow older so that I could borrow it to take you out on dates and just go on drives around the metro like we used to when we first met each other. I don't know, I guess I just dreamend it all up one lonely night while I was staring at the sky. Now its all going away. I wish you'd reconsider. I know your scared of what the future might have for us just as I am, but our time is right now. Ask anyone who's ever had a successful love story. I'm sure all of them are tainted with sacrifices and hardships. Never give up. Knowing that and instead of giving in, I will always choose us. Because there is no person I would spend the rest of eternity in heaven even if it means going through hell. You know who you are.The next chapter is up to you. Once upon a time there was a man and a woman..

dota night for me

2006-03-30T11:13:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

phew!what a long day.yeah, i'm tired. this day sucks. i almost played dota for most of the day and the sucky part is that i lost all the games..bad trip.im bad at dota, im getting fat and my writing sucks, or at least i feel my writing does suck.i feel like im the most unlucky person in the world with the things that happened to me the past days. i'm single, i'm sad,i'm broke, i'm getting fat, i don't feel that what i'm writing is interesting at all, and most of all, i suck at the game i love to play.i wish all the sadness would just go away..i guess i'll eat again

biglaan

2006-03-19T19:47:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

Nandito nakaukit pa rin sa puso ko,
Nang sabihin mong wag na lang.
Nandito nakatatak pa rin sa isip ko,
Kung paano mong tinalikuran ang lahat.
Kay bilis ba't umalis, nakakamiss
Na bigla lang di ko man lamang nalaman
Na mawawala,
Na bigla lang di mo man lamang naisip
Na idahan-dahan.
Hindi ako sanay sa biglaan,
Unti unti na lang sanang nawala.
Hindi ba natin kayang magkunwari,
at sabihing sige na lang
Hindi ba natin kayang dayain,
Ang mga yakap sa tuwing lumalambing
Kay bilis ba't umalis, nakakamiss
Na bigla lang di ko man lamang nalaman
Na mawawala,
Na bigla lang di mo man lamang naisip
Na idahan-dahan.
Hindi ako sanay sa biglaan,
Unti unti na lang sanang nawala.

she asked me to write about her

2005-12-31T21:20:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara amd leading lady Nicole Maramo..

happy new year everybody! Last nights party at ejie's place was a blast.We guys really had fun. I got home around 530 am. I'm glad that U got the time to spend with some of my childhood friends. I also talked to bebs awhile ago so I guess thus is the result of us talking.

Well, niki asked me to write something about her in my blog so here I am..Talk about girls being vain..sheesh..hehehe..I'm joking guys. I mean she ain't the perfect person in the world but it doesn't matter. Shes kikay and stuff and cryes a lot and loves to shop but I guess those are some of the things that made me fall in love with her. Who cares if shes as hard headed as her father and down right stuborn. Aside from those qualities, there are lots of good things about her. Shes just this sweet adorable creature and probably the best thing that happened in my life. I've seen no other girl that cares that much about me. Coolness..hahahaha.. Someone actually cares for me.. I was crying to her a few moments ago because I missed her so much(Yes ladies and gentlemen, I cry) and there she was, talking to me and comforting me about our current situation. Her voice just calmed me down. That was a really good experience. Yeah we are in a long distance relationship but I wouldn't mind waiting for her, I hope that holds true for her too. Yeah we fight at times but the good part of the relationship is wanting to still make it work after some setbacks that rock his boat. Someone quoted to me once that it takes only one to end a relationship, it takes two to make it work. Thats some deep shit I've pondered upon for days.. So I guess I'm riking it all in order to spend my life with her. Even if it means going to some country I don't like. Even if it means me being some sort of a domestic helper or construction worker in order to pay bills. Even if it means mopping the floor and cleaning the toilet and all the other chores. I'd do that for my bebs. Happy new year bebs.Ü I will always love you. Cheers to us.Ü

daughters

2005-08-23T22:16:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara and leading lady, Nicole Maramo..

I know a girl
She puts the color inside of my world
But she's just like a maze
Where all of the walls all continually change
And I've done all I can
To stand on her steps with my heart in my hands
Now I'm starting to see
Maybe it's got nothing to do with me

Fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Oh, you see that skin?
It's the same she's been standing in
Since the day she saw him walking away
Now she's left
Cleaning up the mess he made

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

Boys, you can break
You'll find out how much they can take
Boys will be strongAnd boys soldier on
But boys would be gone without the warmth from
A womans good, good heart
On behalf of every man
Looking out for every girl
You are the god and the weight of her world

So fathers, be good to your daughters
Daughters will love like you do
Girls become lovers who turn into mothers
So mothers, be good to your daughters too

may mag comment kaya sa post na to?

2005-08-10T03:07:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

3:08 already and im still here in front of my pc doodling stuff in this blog. Without bebsie around to make me happy it just soo sucks to be me. I called her up a while ago and hearing her voice is just a relief. Just talking to her makes my day and actually puts a smile on my face. I wish she were here..

Well its like a day before our thesis defense. I'm so scared that I'm peeing in my pants right now. Hopefully, it would be over in a flash once it starts.

I'm so uninspired in writing here. It makes me think why im still writing? i better stop..

cooking master boy

2005-07-26T23:39:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara and leading lady, Nicole Maramo..

ugh, i stayed home the whole day. I cooked something up for mom and dad today as they just got home from their cebu trip since they left last sunday. Cooked some tofu mushroom in tomatoe sauce and some spice mexican rice. I also serveed them with some tuna in classic pizza sauce as an appetizer for them. Dad and mom complimented me for my cooking. It felt great. I just wish that bebsie was here so that I could share it with her. She called me up last nyt and i was so glad to hear her voice again. I just wish she knew how her call meant so much to me. We talked about how her dad was joking her with the name i called her. She said her dad was joking her with boobsie instead of bebsie. Niki told me not to text those mushy quotes. I explained to her that I don't want to be remembered as the guy that loved his girl but as the guy who loved his girl so much and that he wasn't afraid to let the whole world know how he felt for her. I guess that got her convinced. I don't know if it was just me but I guess detected a hint of giggling from her. That made me giggle too. So much for that.. later..

bebsie and bebsie..

2005-07-25T22:18:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara and leading lady Nicole Maramo..

Burnout
by Sugarfree

O, wag kang tumingin ng ganyan sa akin
'Wag mo akong kulitin, 'wag mo akong tanungin
Dahil katulad mo, ako rin ay nagbago
'Di na tayo tulad ng dati, kay bilis ng sandali
CHORUS
O, kay tagal din kitang minahal
Kung iisipin mo, 'di naman dati ganito
Teka muna, teka lang, kelan tayo nailang?
Kung iisipin mo, 'di naman dati ganito
Kay bilis kasi ng buhay, pati tayo natangay
[Repeat CHORUS]
Tinatawag kita, sinusuyo kita
'Di mo man marinig, 'di mo man madama
O, kay tagal din kitang mamahalin

chill out

2005-07-21T09:38:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

woke up at around 130 pm today. me, ejie and jb slept at around 430 am because we got hooked up at our conversations together. woke up and we cooked breakfast together. i made bagoong rice while ejie and jcooked the hotdogs and tocino. it was a pretty tasty meal considering the puzzled look in the faces of jb and ejie while i was cooking the bagoong rice. Met up with kenneth buncayo at starbucks bf since i havent seen him for a while. We ended up hanging out at his place since we pretty much had nowhere to crash. ho hum.. so much for this day. i hope tomorrow wouldnt be as uneventful as my day today. today wasn't really exciting although i still aprreciate the things that had happened. I just wish that bebsie would come home soon. it just isn't the same without her. well, i guess we will have our time. maybe if i get lucky enough..

playing cupid

2005-07-20T09:22:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara and leading lady, Nicole Maramo..

this day for me started somewhat on a very slow pace. slept late last night due to the fact that my friends and i went on a drinking binge and soon enough before we knew it, we were already leng-leng. Ryna brought melvin along, supposedly a suitor which also was her student at ama. Shocking! hahahaha. it was really nice hanging with them since the guy seemed to pass our standards for the night. Bought us some beers and carried a good conversation. Jb, me and Ejie all gave our thumbs up for the night but it doesn't necessarily mean he's an okay guy. Still need time to get to know him more before we finally give the "good to go" sign for ryna. Well, we are somewhat protective of her since shes the only girl in the group and putting into consideration that shes been through a lot in life. I've been hearing from Jb a while ago that melvin was gonna bring some friends here for basketball.i guess we'll have to see whats gonna happen next.

Going back to this day, i ended up with renzo after class. He was kinda depressed since the girl he likes had a spat with him since yesterday. He even bught a box of doughnuts for us to eat on the ride home. Eating them made him feel good. So much for his depression. We hung out at starbucks atc instead for a heartfelt conversation. After a grueling time convincing renzo to "make habol" the girl he finally gave in, called her up. Didn't work the first time though but in the middle of their conversation she mentioned that her bestfriend Falina confined for some sickness at the Asian hospital. She said she was visiting her. Again after a hard earned convincing of renzo we went to Asian hospital not to meet up with Janina(renzo's girl) but to visit Falina. Well, since girls bestfriends are the ones that approve or disapprove of ones relationships we have yet to achieve our goal. Renzo was so nervious on the way. Ejie texted me that Teta was confined there too so we had somewhat of a ruse to visit Falina. After visiting Teta for a couple of minutes we then headed for the dreaded room 708 since by this time Renzo was already at the peak of breaking down. He was so nervous that it was up to me to make him work. It turns out that Falina was talking to Janina on the phone, while they were at it I coached renzo on what to do. We went back to Teta's room and we even chatted to mister nurse and asked him if what to do in the situation wherein a girl got mad at you. Just as i said to renzo that he should "make habol", he said the same thing too. "Ser, kailangan talaga habulin yan!" said he. it soon turned out fine as Janina called renzo up on his cell as we drove home. They made up and are apparently going out friday and saturday.

What a cool way to end the day. Renzo thanking me and all. It was really nice that I got to help a person especially on the topic of love and even seeing the results firsthand. Its just a wonder of life on how two people meet admist the craziness of this world. I'm so glad for renzo and he's just lucky to have me along. hahahaha. Well, thanks to Gian for giving me a glimpse on what to do especially in dealing with girls. I am soo a hopleless romantic. I'm just happy that these same things are also going on in my life with bebsie around me. thats it..see you guys later..

where are you?

2005-07-18T07:57:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

ugh. im so depressed right now. havent talked to bebsie for this day and maybe a few more to come. how i wish that by some act of magic or God( please Lord, please..) her pc gets fixed so that it would end my long agonizing wait of just hearing her voice. it seems like forever without niki around to talk to. it tends to get lonely. sigh.

didn't get to train for jiu jitsu this day and i was looking forward to training at jons place. he and renzo even asked me if they could hitch a ride with me but jon in the end backed out and cancelled the training. that left me and renzo looking for some chow and we ended up at flaming wings in bf. my God! those wings are the best. ive been there frequently and have been quite aquainted with the owner already. hopefully sometime in the future, i'd bring bebsie over there for aome pigging out moments and then off to someplace for some good old fashioned quality time.

tomorrow i'm meeting up with some of my old friends, kd and franz. i've been dying to see them since i seriously need to keep my mind from missing niki so much. i don't wanna get that depressed. i remembered that the last time i was with them was when i was perparing my gifts for bebsie.. hehehe.. that was fun..

again, im missing her. the thought lingers on my mind too much. im worried sick since i don't really know whats happening to her. thats what makes what i feel a living hell. wheres the liquer when you need it?

Crazy for you

2005-06-09T19:13:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara and leading lady, Nicole Maramo

Swaying room as the music starts
Strangers making the most of the dark
Two by two their bodies become one
I see you through the smokey air
Can't you feel the weight of my stare
You're so close but still a world away
What I'm dying to say, is that
Chorus:
I'm crazy for you
Touch me once and you'll know it's true
I never wanted anyone like thisI
t's all brand new, you'll feel it in my kiss
I'm crazy for you, crazy for you
Trying hard to control my heart
I walk over to where you are
Eye to eye we need no words at all
Slowly now we begin to move
Every breath I'm deeper into you
Soon we two are standing still in time
If you read my mind, you'll see
(Chorus)It's all brand new,
I'm crazy for youAnd you know it's true
I'm crazy, crazy for you

love is you..

2005-04-18T22:33:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara and leading lady Nicole Maramo..

Blogster,

wassup!? haven't had the time to write due to me being just about busy all the time. I'm glad to announce that me and niki are in our 5th month of being a couple. So much for being attached.. but I do believe that these past few months have made me really, really happy. Yeah, there are hardships and misunderstandings that happen in our relationship but I guess thats normal and the good thing is that we manage to go by no matter what the problem is.

Now, I'm somehow afraid of what the future may bring to us. With her leaving for another country in a matter of a few days I'm wondering what our lives would be like with each one of us separated from each other over a long period of time. I'm really scared.. Scared of what might happen to her.. of not being there to see her change as a person.. Scared of what might happen to her when something goes wrong.. Scared of not being there when she cries and at the saddest moment of her life but most of all scared of the fact that she might forget about our committment to each other. She's been nothing but wonderful when she came into my life and I'm not gonna let her leave my life just because of the miles apart. I won't give up that easily. You see, once you have seen "forever" I'm really sure that you wouldn't let go of it. Nothing really seems to matter since I know even in rocky waters I would surely count on her to be by my side. I saw forever in her and that is all that love is all that matters..

i am so tired..

2005-03-10T06:44:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

hey guys whats up!? I've been pretty busy these past few months with a lots of stuff. Theres the thesis thats really getting on our nerves.. I pray that all goes really well for the thesis.. Our lives depend on it goddemet! (hehehe..). Of course who would forget my oreobear! yey! Its almost 4 months that were together and I'm still clueless on what to do on the 15th.. Actually, im stumped and frustrated that I am somehow unable to think of something special to do on that day without really spending that much money.. any suggestions guys? i really need it..

my blockmates visited me at home last night. Some of them came all the way up north and boy, we sure did have a good time playing billiards and drinkin at my house. I really miss the old times when we sure had a blast just fresh out of high school ready to take on the world. We all got pretty wasted and we finished around 5 am. Richard and Cis still played good billiards as usual. I guess I'm getting too rusty at the game. Matt and I had a long talk and I really missed our long talks about practically almost anything. Chill got wasted the most and even fell flat on the ground.. Me, Matt, Cis and Chard had to comfort our injured friend. at least shes alright..Its been quite awhile since I've drank that hard.. feels good and bad at the same time..
later guys

accidentaly in love

2005-01-24T06:15:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting characters, nikiboy and kiwigurl..

I guess its was a stroke of luck or maybe stars aligned right and all that mumbo jumbo.. but yeah.. i do believe in the corniness of the way of thinking.. I guess every love has its own sort of cheese factor that skyrockets with every couple. To me its the simplest things that makes my love for her really, really cheesy. I find myself thinking up of weird names to call her or seeing her sleep with her jaw dropped down but somehow i find it really cute.. Oreobear and flattops? How cheesy can you guys out there be. hehehehe.. Oh well, thats me.. enough of that..

I just wanted to update since I'm pretty much preoccupied with lotsa stuff.. theres the thesis for one thing and of course oreobear! hehehe.. right now I'm stuck here in computer class. Boring.. I just wish that the teacher was more adept in teaching this subject.. *yawn* I just wish I'd pass this subject..

love song for no one, no more..

2004-12-06T06:30:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

dear online journal,

These past few weeks have just been a breathetaking experience that I must say are truly cherished. It may be not the best weeks in my life because it was not all fun and joy but there were also pockets of drama that would spice up every relationship. Lets just say that.. Finally, that song "love song for no one" has stopped playing as a sort of eternal l.s.s. for me.

Well, she was never really my type to begin with. It all started with a simple 'hi' or the more convenient 'hello', but little did I know that those words would soon evolve to a much more deeper set of words. "I love you" its the only words that I can think of, especially when youve already said that to someone you truly and do love. The moment wasn't right but somehow all seems to fall into place. I had planned a much more romantic proposal or even a much more better approach that would sweep her off her feet.. Unexpected and caught in the moment, it was truly worth it. .

diga bro!

2004-11-11T02:10:00.000-08:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

Dear on-line journal,

Phew! Its been a super lung time since I last posted here.. These past few weeks have been really crazy.. as in.. I missed you guys so much.. ( whoever reads this pointless crap..) Let me start off by relating to you a story of a person I very much in touch with.. His story is one of many typical stories.. boy meets girl.. spend time with each other then.. kabloey! A kalaidoscope full of colors.. I mean he's not the typical guy to be serious when it comes to uhhmm.. well.. ladies.. This guy lives for the next day knowing that its laced full of challenges and hardships. I know pretty much what happens in his life but now I find myself dumbfounded when it comes to the actions he is showing. Lots of times he has loved and lost later recuperating to love and lost again. Truly a sad story but now he comes to this crossroad. Oh no..! committment problems. I guess not.. Oh come on.. You know youre better than this. Are you ready to what I'm gonna say? You, better prepare for this..

His story starts with an"Oh my God!", saying that he wants a long term committment but now in the face of a possible one you turn into a stinker.. This was a guy who knew very well his capabilities as a person but his story took an unoblivous turn to mysterious waters. What the hell are you afraid of? I mean fine, given the fact that the past few girls were stink bombs but that doesnt mean youre giving up that easy without fighting hard.. Lets admit it.. you go for the moment.. the lousy lay that ends eventually the morning after. You like playing the game of cat and mouse but in this game you always play dog. Haaay! Well for once in your life play fair. Yes I know that you know how the game works but lets go back to your roots. Old fashioned high school style courtship wherein every intention was good and pure. No vendettas nor hidden agendas please. Lets slow down a bit.. Don't you think that youre getting way over your head? Do you honestly think that you can live life that way forever!? I see your depression.. I see youre solitary existence but try again what its like to be that boy thats seen his angel for the first time in his life and knew then and there that he's gonna go for the thing that matters the most.. You used to be that person but in your life where decisions were made and a matter of compromises were the only answers you devolved into this pathetic creature of a man.. boy, don't cower and sulk in the shadow of what you are now..

Life is too short boy.. I'm sure that after a few sessions with yourself and definetly conquering your own demons youll be fine. The answers should be clear to interpret because now I see in you that youre living for the moment where both ends meet.

its all about nothing.. don't read..

2004-10-19T18:05:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

You guys are so kulit.. sabi nang don't read eh.. If youre still reading this.. what can I do?

dear on-line journal,

Gee, I'm so bored. I don't even know what to write about.. Did I ever tell you guys that I'm also active in church? Well, heres that story.. Had our team buiding held at my house for the church camp this friday.. It started saturday last week and ended sunday. It was really nice since the new genaration of members are coming around, leading the org in their own unique way. Us veterans are getting old and now face new challenges. While our numbers are dwindling I leave it up to the newbies to continue the legacy we started as pioneering batch. Sometimes it gets too depressing seeing a few of the veterans active in our org. We used to be tight with each other looking forward to meeting up for the next prayer meeting. We were young then and it felt so good that we didn't even notice that time passed by until little by little, some of us started to fade out.. Now I look at the grown up versions of ourselves and I hate to admit it that we changed a lot. Some of the members don't even have time and given up hope in our org while others think so negatively that the current lineup of members won't even come around. But hey! Some of us are still here still holding on to the committment that we once pledged to our creator. Depressing, it really is. Although it was bound to happen, I'm still keeping faith. I'm still waiting for the other veterans to come around.. The new batches will continue to pass that fire that was once instilled in us the moment we joined the group. I know they will, they have to..

on the topic of the ideal girl.. reloaded..

2004-10-11T10:24:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

"It's so funny how we set qualifications for the right person to love, while at the back of our minds, the person that we truly love will always be an exception"

It is funny that we as people do qualifications on that “person”. I know this for a fact that “the girl”, one that is ideal in my opinion will never be real. Sad.. Truly depressing but in the midst of all of this, I’ve realized that I am also human and I would never be really contented with what I have. This might sound selfish but hey, its me, and I guess I’m entitled to what I feel. The ideal girl was and still is never meant for all of us. Writing about this imaginary girl just makes me feel good about notions of a perfect relationship, something that will be special amidst the shit that is happening around us. A relationship that will last since everything nowadays goes with a flick of an eye. I just want to revisit the days of old about how relationships were sacred and pure. With all the kids fucked up these days, who’d want to get hitched?

The person that we truly love will always be an exception. Even though she’s not all that or the person that is liked by all.. who cares right? Damn the world, but any person would do the stupidest things for that special someone, I know I would. I remember this girl that I always dreamed about. She’s real, the girl that I would marry as I would say to myself. She was the rose among the thorns. Not really my type, actually the opposite of what I like, but somehow she is different. I don’t know why.. Used to yearn for her but now, I’m glad and settled in the fact that we’re good friends. I will always be there for her no matter what. I want to be the person that wipes her tears off her face and person she draws strength for all her battles in life. I want her happy all the time even if I’m not the man that brings her that smile on her face and I will always love her for the person that she is..

on the topic of the ideal girl..

2004-10-07T04:28:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

New friends that I meet find it hard to accept that I haven’t been in a serious relationship for like the rest of my life. So what? I choose to lead my life in a way I desire. I do not have a need for someone at the moment since I feel that leading the single life is leading a life with no cares or responsibilities. All I have to think about is myself. I guess being traumatized in past “relationships” made me think twice about starting a new one. I’m one of those people whose scared of all that commitment yada yada yada.. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I have been in relationships but not really that serious. When I really, really, really like the girl I can really be obsessed but not in a dangerous and psycho kind of way but in a pathetic and miserable kind of way. I’m such a loser to the girl I really like. I completely act like a dork especially when I’m around her. I guess we all are, in front of a person that makes our stomach feel like its full of butterflies and the feeling of having goose bumps over your goose bumps. Oh my God! High school happened all over again. Suddenly I’m that loser geeky boy in glasses.. What made me afraid of committing is that when I fall, I fall real hard. The repercussions of what I feel reflect in everything I do. That means I really like the girl to the point of love, insanity and bloodshed.. (hahaha.. delete the last two terms.. that didn’t sound right.. hehehehe..). It would really take me a ages to recover, literally.

What is the ideal girl to me? “The one” that would have my heart.. For starters She should be pretty ( who wants a person that is.. hmm.. “sablay” anyway? All of us differ in standards..) And smart. A woman. No psycho bitches please? Most guys go for the “beauty and brains” kind of girls. I’d rather go for smart people since even intelligent people get fooled and played around. They are the people who are cool, calm and calculating. I want a girl with appeal in order to attract my attention. Intimidating to a point but just enough for me to kick into high gear for me to do my moves. I want a challenge.. She should be one. My love interest at the same time my foe. She is my adversary and the person I’m destined to be with. My equal.. She knows my every move as do I with her which would result into a stalemate and then maybe we could call it quits, but then again the one who gives in looses.. She’s ready to bail out on me whenever I get too relaxed and cocky. She’s very flexible since I have a broad range of friends from different walks of life. Although she's kikay, she’s not afraid to get ready for a date in a matter of ten minutes. She’s in for the ride for every trip. And she loves tripping on me.. because she knows that it’s not the matter of reaching the end but how the journey was made and the stories that follow after every experience. love may not make the world gor round but it makes the trip worthwhile. I want her to be trusting, trusting me enough for her to permit me to have my life of my own since I also have friends and I would not want for us to be on our own island alone.. With her understanding comes love, without understanding all the love in the world will be for naught. She knows that I will always be a guy and a guy needs to do what a guy needs to do. A girl that would sweep me off my feet, as do I with hers. My hero, “the damsel” that would save this dude in distress even if it means saving me from myself because I too can fall and need a little catching of my own (floor=hard). She is also a lady but she’s not afraid to get in touch with her masculine side since I’m the kind of person who is never afraid to get in touch with my feminine side. She is my special someone and also my mistress in order to keep this dog at bay. So, if ever, I’m going to cheat on her, I’d cheat on her with her. I don’t know how she’ll do it but she can and will. She keeps me on my feet being very unpredictable doing irrational things but within this irrationality lies a rational reason. Aside from being that special someone to me she is also a friend. She teaches me things I’ve never known about and make me do things I thought I could never do. She balances me out while I’m battling my own demons. Strong in faith is she, and fears God as well.. Our relationship should be dynamic and ever changing since we don’t want to fall into the trap of doing the same routine over and over again resulting into a potential “grown out of love” syndrome. She is a person that would never give up on me when the world already did.. Strong-willed and never willing to give up, she sticks it out with me through thick or thin. Through my eyes she sees that this warrior is also a child, An individual that needs care and nurturing. Most of all, she loves me for what I am. She has no pretensions and accepts me for me.. because she is a better person than I am that makes me want to be a better person around her. She is the one person I’m ever going to love for the rest of my life. After a long time in the relationship we are still unbeleivably in love.. She believes that our love will conquer all.. that being in love with each other makes our lives even more beautiful.

come on over to my place..Ü

2004-10-07T03:10:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

dear on-line journal,

Ahh.. just finished a night of hanging out with my friends(kris, jb and ejie) here in my place. Backtrack..

kris and jb are flirting with the computer while ejie is watching euro trip on dvd..

They just left a while ago. Hmmm, the room is trashed with stuff scattered around and I have to fix things up but its all good. Its really nice that hanging out here with my village friends evolved from late night to early morning drinking sessions into late night to early morning coffee sessions. I guess it started when all of us ran out of money one night and we decided to lay off the booze and hang out instead. Well, at least we don't have to make excuses of drinking in order to be with each other and share our own views and even problems at times. I really like it the way my friends express themselves and open up without the influence of alcohol or anything whatsoever. It takes a lot of courage and bravery to get those ill-gotten feelings out into the open without the intoxication of liqour. Thats a bold thing to do and I admire my friends for taking the step.. (I'm also the same.. admire me too!Ü hehehehehe..) Time really flies fast. I suddenly remember our childhood days spent with each other. We would go out in briefs and a shirt only to play.. then wearing shorts became in.. (and of course the right thing to do! Cover it up people!) to our bikes and basketball days.. and now, a couple of young individuals that well, hmm.. hang around.. bumming ourselves to boredom with the consolation of being with each other and looking for girls to add to our group to add some spice.. You know it tends to be repetative of seeing each other faces since we were kids.. The quest continues for the search for new friends.. any girls willing to apply?Ü hehehehe.. Uhhh.. yeah.. I didn't think so..

taking it all the way to baguio and back for more!

2004-10-05T17:32:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

dear on-line journal,

ugh! Its a nasty time for me.. I still have class at around 745 and its still 530.. Shit.. Waiting sucks. By the way, its been a long time since I last posted here.. Anyone miss me?(how I wish! =( ... )

Well its been a wild week for me cuz last tuesday I went to Baguio for the annual PMAP(Personnel Management Association of the Philippines) Conference held at Camp John Hay. It was a wild four days and four nights. So now comes the question where all you boys or boys at heart ask.. "Where there any chiks around?". Now my part comes wherein I say.. "Uhmm, no.. but there were lots of old people around.. Take your pick!Ü". No, guys there weren't any chiks around only people.. really old people but I'd perefer not to look at it as a downside but rather of a pleasure. Jim Paredes of the APO hiking society was there to grace the first night with an opening seminar. I crossed my fingers praying that he would sing their song, "Panalangin" (I just love the song sooo much..) but nay.. he didn't. He sang a different song.. Bayani Fernando was there and the famous mayor of Naga City, Jesse M. Robredo. Even the owner of the Inquirer was there, Mrs. Sandy Romualdez. It was a great experience and an eye opener.. I was real fun mingling with the top dogs of the HR world and a realization.. that there are no chicks in HR.. (thats really nasty!) Well, I'm just playing with you guys.. The seminar finished Friday night and we went down saturday morning at around 10 am and I got home 9 pm.

My stay at home would be short lived because I had to go to my friend's debut at Greenhills. After that I went over to Grilla since I had to meet up with Franz. As I reached the place I soon discovered that Franz was already drunk from all the free beer he drank( It was a friends party also..). After a quick stop, me and Franz were off to Ponti since Franz wanted to see his girlfriend Kd (she's working in the building beside Ponti) After exchanging hi's and hello's to a few friends I went home and reached my bed at around 430. It was really tiring coming from Baguio and all but instead of going to sleep I opted to watch t.v. before finally calling it a day and dreaming off to kiwiland..

Phew! A lot of stories to tell.. As I lay in my bed, thoughts in my head suddenly pop out.. Sometimes I just feel that my whole is suddenly a routine. I study then I party.. I am suddenly asking myself the question of where is the sense in my life. What happened to taking control of your own life molding it the way you want it? Where is the freedom ladies and gentlemen? Sometimes I do ponder about these things one lonely night wherein I'd ponder with a cigarette of what the hell has happened? Where'd all the love go?Too much stress I guess, and its high time that I get the relaxation I think I deserve. Too much work.. too much people.. too much problems.. Sometimes I feel like a person caged in this world (I guess we all are.. aren't we?). How I wish to go back to my childhood.. No problems, no responsibilities.. Just plain fun.. A life of simplicity and no cares. An impossible situation to achieve so all I can do is dream.. sweet solace.. Mmmmm...

too tired, when is it gonna stop?

2004-09-27T01:30:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

dear on-line journal,

Last friday night went to gb3 to watch "The Terminal" with nikki(hi nikki!Ü). Picked her up at around 530 pm but we reached greenbelt 3 at around 730 to 8. We immediately bought the tickets for the 9 pm schedule and had dinner at Bubba Gump. It was a relly good movie even it was my second time to watch it. Tom Hanks really good at his craft that even its the second time around I'm still amazed with his acting prowess. After the movie I brought nikki to avi's (ey avi!Ü) place and off to Tiananmen to meet up with my DLSU college friends Franz, Kd, Dj, and Cams. Chika and company after sometime also came to meet us up for a while. due to some unfortunate circumstances we had to leave early for fear of the "waiters revenge" because apparently Kd got pissed due to the fact that they were given seats wherein wine drinking was compulsary yet they weren't informed of the policy. So the management was apologetic to us. Me and Franz just can't stop making stories of how waiters would strike back to us.. So we had to leave early but I met up with Ken and Jermaine and went off to Greenbelt 3 at Krokodille for a few bottles of beer. Then I brought them home to Jermaines's condo then I went home for my beauty rest..

Saturday I woke up going to school late and without anything to eat because I got hooked up with the tv. Van wilder was being shown on star movies and I just got engrossed to watching it that I forgot how time passes by quickly. After classes I went home early since I had to meet up again with Kd and Franz in order to erase the stigma of friday nights fiasco. Picked up Kd at bf then went on to San Beda to pick up Franz with two other friends with him, June and Paul. They were really good company. We chatted at Starbucks Valero since we got there early at around 10 pm and it was way too early to be partying at Ponti. At around 11 we went to Ponti and had a few rounds of drinks when three girls sat at the table beside us. I had a major look lock with one of the three girls at the table beside us. She looked vaguely familiar but I didn't really know how to approach her since it would be rude for me to come accross and strike a conversation. The rest of the agno boys came along mainly Marcus, Java, Noel, Andy and Paolo. Noel suddenly talked with the three girls beside our table and apparently the girl that was familiar was PA. I met her a long time ago and I just apologized to her how I forgot her name and she looked way different when I met her compared to the way she looked that night. So much for that.. Me and Franz also met up with Pichon and Joleon hours later and apparently they were already leaving. Ponti can get real jampacked and you could get lost in the chaos of so many people. I stumbled with Ara, a friend of mine from Assumption as I came from the cr then as I got back to our table Kd had to go off early since she had work in the building beside Ponti, while me and Franz brought her to work Aubrey was just around the corner with officemates and came by to say hi. After a few sticks of ciggarettes and real good laughs about college life Aubs had to go off to work. After a chat with Ara she decided to catch a ride with me home with her friend Metz since their friends ditched them. Dropped off Franz, June and Paul at Diamond hotel since it was the last day of bar ops in DLSU. Drove Ara and Metz home and bye bye real world for me and off to dreamland after a long and hard day..

Sometime in Ponti Franz and I talked about being old for doing the "going out friday and saturday night". I guess we shared the same sentiments that it sometimes doesn't make the real cut for us anymore. The party scene is just getting younger and younger and yes, we are still here. Sometimes I just wanna have it nice and quiet like coffee or something, at least you get to know the people you meet since you get to talk to them. Compared to shallow talk of meeting people in a club I'd choose my coffee sessions anytime. I just want a conversation that would be in a deeper level and has sense. I want it to be real and have meaning. A friend of mine told me that it does get tiring since you sometimes get the feeling that your meeting the same kind of people all the time. Its like your not meeting anyone new. The dancing and partying sometimes gets so tiring. In the midst of the shallowness I even feel like screaming in the middle of the party peeps and I guess no one would even care. Hmmm... Maybe I am getting old for this..? Well, it doesn't matter because I'm sure that its a phase that I'm going thru. Maybe I just need to grow up? I guess too many fun memories of partying are just holding me back. Its those memories that keep me going and the prospect of putting the sense back in the middle of the party. Sheez.. I kinda feel fucked up.. like I'm crazy or something talking shit about partying don't you guys think..? hehehehe..Ü I'll just have to wait for the next party or the next night out..

daddy doodles..Ü

2004-09-24T00:16:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

dear on-line journal,

Last tuesday night was one of the most memorable nights in my entire life. Well, it was my daddy's birthday. The day started slow, we went to mass at around 6 am at holy family parish at bf almanza. Then we were off to Chowking for breakfast. After class there was dinner at home and a few relatives were invited. Patrick and Dahlia came along because we needed to plan for our coming church weekend this october. After the meeting we brought dhalia home and started our inuman session. ejie, jb, kris, pat and I started it off with a bottle of Fundador. Pat was really in a bad mood at that time since he and his girlfriend broke up at the time we held our meeting but that didn't prevent us from having a good time. A few shots later pat needed to "go home" so he was the first to depart but soon to be replaced by my dad a few moments later. It was really nice since we haven't talked on a much deeper level for a long time. He imparted to me, ejie, and kris some words of wisdom on a few topics that are happening in my life. We talked about friendships, my brother, his conviction on things and principles.. I'm really proud of my dad because I've come to learn the man that he really is. He has earned my respect although I earned his respect a long time ago without even noticing it. All has been revealed.. That hard and tough exterior hides a deep and kind hearted person inside. I soon realize that although we don't talk or see that much I am becoming more like my dad. Just by the way he talked i found a deper connection that I also shared with him. I guess its like that in a normal family. I hate to admit it, but i am the product of my parents. A mix of their blood and even their own personalities and but now, I am happy with the thought of how I have grown into this individual. I am truly lucky that I have parents that have molded me into the person that I am today. I know that they will always be there for me and my brother and especially to soon to be children in the distant future. Im just excited of what life has in store of me with the both of them with me..

no more dreams for me..

2004-09-20T21:09:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

dear on-line journal,

Me and my buds at agno(dlsu) where talking about certain dreams we've had a while ago. It was just so funny because there were different stories about each of our wildest and raunchy dreams. Ec started it off narrating that he dreamnt of 8 naked ladies in front of him. hahahaha!Ü And he was so overwhelmed that he didn't know what to do.. I remember jp telling us about his dream about kristine hermosa. He was so iritated in the dream as he recounts. Apparently in that dream they were breaking up.. "it was so fast" he said because they were already breaking up and not even in the "couple stage"or even the "courtship stage". He even told us that it would be so nice for kristine to be his girlfriend even just for a day, so that he could brag to us guys that they were an item even for the shortest time. I remarked to him "bro, too much kristine hermosa for you.. all my life must have done wonders for you.. hahahaha". Moving on to my dream, I have this friend in school that I've known for quite sometime. She's the typical girl that men would notice because she is pretty(but not really all that..you guys might get me wrong..hehehehe..Ü), simple, has a sense of style. The typical girl next door and a person who is active in church. Given the fact that I've known her for sometime I've considered her as a good friend of mine and not a person that I would picture myself to be with and in the situation of being in bed. Yes, you guessed it right my friends.. (if you don't.. well, you guys are boring!Ü Get a life! Then a partner! Then maybe a room? hahahaha.. you know me.. just playing again..) in that dream it was so wild with her that when I woke up I had chills up my spine. Must have been a nocturnal emission since I haven't been walking the dog for quite sometime..(hahahahahaha!Ü nah, i was just joking..) To make the dream even worse I had her in my room.. it was just so nasty.. too much visuals for me in that dream. That dream about her just changed the way that I see her and I know that upon dealing with her things for me would never be the same. At that time she was my classmate and when that dream occured I find myself checking her out(kiwi, this is your conscience.. As much as possible don't try to look at her assets.. her bumpers.. her face.. in short, don't look at her at all.. hehehehehe). I try to suppress myself of seeing nasty images of her that keep on popping up in my head. It just makes my blood boil and makes that animal in me wanna come out.. down boy!Ü Awwww.... shit! Well, I'm trying to be a good boy now and I am at the moment trying to keep those hormones at bay. You guys gotta give me a break.. boys will be boys.. My friends commented that it may be a suppressed feeling that I might really like this gurl subconsciously even though I'm not thinking of her consciously. She is really a catch although thinking of it I'd rather not pursue her because it would be for the wrong reasons if you know what I mean.. We ended it up with a cigarette and had to go our separate ways since class was starting..

not another friday and saturday night..

2004-09-15T02:06:00.000-07:00

another crazy day in the life of our unsuspecting character, Kiwi Vergara..

Dear on-line journal,

Last weekend was just nasty! Friday night I picked tin up at her condo and off to Krymi's party at Impanema eastwood. On the way we were so low on batteries that we actually stopped by a gas station to grab a bite to eat. Then to eastwood for the party. There were tons of food and it was just so good that I still remember the taste and it just makes my mouth water right now. Mmmmm... beef salpicao, sisig, pasta, crispy pata and more.. After that there was drinking and dancing.. A couple of beers and hard drinks were enough for me to get my dancing shoes rolling. Well, i haven't danced in the longest time and it took me sometime to reorient myself with my "dancing moves".. if there was any.. hahahaha..Ü. Saturday night i went to town with Teta and missy to watch The Terminal and went to Manila to meet up with France and Kd. I actually crashed in the party of kd's friend trina who was the sister of barbie almalbis. Saw Barbie and kitchie nadal.. Heck! I even got introduced.. Never said a thing except hi. Need more beer.. to speak up.. to them.. after that France, Kd and I were off to Ponti and met up with urcc greats Allan Co, Pitchon Garcia, Richard Lasprillas and many more. Nasty.. Although they were introduced to me a while back I still have the feeling of uneasiness around them because of their status. Well, they were good company and of course, friendly yet still scary.. hehehehe.. Got home at around 4am and its sweet dreams for me..

meet the taas barkada..

2004-09-09T15:52:00.000-07:00

dear on-line journal,

I was just thinking about writing about my friends that have influenced to become the person I am right now. These friends have been an important part of my life that I can see no way of existing without them. For my first set of friends I'd like to introduce you guys to my taas barkada. Actually they are my friends since childhood in the village I grew up in..

I'd like to introduce you guys to jb, ejie, sam, butok, mac, paola, juno, pat, paula, kris. They have been with me since the beginning of my life and are still with me till the end.. I guess I'll briefly say a few words about them in this post.

jb (jarwin bobis)

this guy has always been the joker. Always on the prowl and cracks the funniest jokes. He used to work for McDonalds but later resigned due to certain circumstances. He loves to hang around and of course drink( lahat naman sa barkada eh..)

ejie (ed joseph morales)

I consider him as the brother I never had, although I love my real brother dearly. So much has been taken from this guy from which he rightfully deserves. Although he lacks in financial standing he is a person full of experiences that have made him into a mature individual. I won't even hesitate to ask this guy for advice even though I'm way older than he is because he has my respect and trust. I firmly believe that this guy will make it in life and be successful as soon he realizes the potential he has to exel in whatever field he wants.

sam (abrahamson alhambra)

Sam for me has always been a mature person. He readily accepts the consequences of his decisions to which I salute him. This person is the wall that others in the group lean on. I would describe him as the conscience wherein he would act upon grounds which are right and morale even though he has his own shortcummings and vices. He stands strong in the face of problems and does his best to get by but learns from every situation that goes by.

butok (abraham alhambra)

This guy I would refer to as the mr. goody two shoes. He has his own mischevous side to hide but thats all good. He is strong willed but sometimes always clashes with his brother. But that makes me admire him all the more because he knows what he wants and would not think twice about fighting for it. I would also describe him as the 2nd most prideful person in the group. Although we don't see him that much anymore(thanks to ragnarok and mama bell, thats all good bro! we still love you!) he is still a welcome addition to our group.

mac (mark stephen suede)

This guy is the person with no cares in the barkada. He always wants to play it safe especially when it concerns with intra-barkada conflict. He doesn't want to concern himself with that because he has always been neutral. He's also an addition to jb in cracking the jokes and makes drinking sessions more enjoyable.

paola (paola bertis)

one of the newest additions to the group and sad two say one of the two ladies in the barkada. She has always been cheerful and the bubbly type of girl in the group. The guys don't practically have a hard time warming up to her because she is very approachable. Due to work we don't see her that much anymore but whenever time permits it, she'll always be there.

juno (edgardo aujero jr.)

this guy recently passed the board exam for electrical engineers. He has always been the emotional type in our group. He is always sensitive especially about the hot topics that are current in the barkada. He is hard working especially now that he works for the their business in the family. We miss him because he usually has little time to spare for us but when he is really needed at any place at any time, in very important situations he will not hesitate to come and lend a helping hand.

pat (john patrick espino)

The bunso in the barkada. He has always been regarded as bunso because of some of his immaturities but I know given time he will outgrow these things and become a much more better person. But given the time we met him for the first time compared to now there are changes in his character and I know with patience he will be the man that we his barkada are waiting to see.

paula (paula espino)

This girl has always been a fighter in the group. Every problem she encounters she fights head on. This girl has a really strong character because she snarls at the face of problems. Sometimes we, the guys in the group tend to forget that she is also a lady and always treat her as one of the guys. Deep inside, behind that tough exterior lies a girl that also needs to be taken care of. She has been with us since childhood but just recently became a part of our barkada.

kris (kristian rey sunga)

Another person in the group with no cares, compared to mac that as long it doesn't mean that much he won't concern himself with petty arguements. When problems become grave and critical then he will act. Although a tough charachter in reality because of tough experiences he appears to be a person hardly unscathed by those experiences.

There you have it.. my friends in my village. Although we are of different personalities and different backgrounds we still manage it to be together. I just hope that our friendship will stand the test of time and challenges that we still have overcome. Itaas mo!!!Ü

flirting 101

2004-09-08T18:28:00.000-07:00

dear on-line journal,

I'm still here in school as usual.. and as usual the computer at home is still busted. I'll have to reformat the hard drive because theres a virus that is preventing me from connecting to the internet. Went out last saturday with my friends tin, nikki, elaine, paolo, krymi and louie at gb3 last saturday. Met up with ate bev at Cena and I had a lot of fun drinking away free beer (thanks ate bev!). There were supposed to be a couple of chiks that nikki was supposed to introduce to me but sad to say, I was preoccupied with my beer and cigarettes.. Another wave of friends of nikki came along but again I was too comfortable with my own self that I didn't even want to talk with the girl.. =( Nasty thing about that was that they were just a bunch of high school chiks.. And I'm 22! I guess I just can't make the cut.. Well, there was this hottie with one of nikki's girlfriends but I guess I was too shy to even strike a conversation.. The hell!? Is this me!? Nasty.. I guess they were too many of them to even start the flirting game.. Oh my God!? I can't even believe that I'm saying this or even writing it for the matter. I'll just try to be mature about it then? Don't you guys think?

I guess I'd have to talk about flirting as the topic for this post since a friend of mine(tabby, hi gurl!) were chatting a while ago in ym and it came upon the topic. To me, flirting has always been a game. Like the chess pieces on the board, anticipating each and every move and if you play you’re moves right, you claim victory. Victory can be in any form depending on you’re intentions. Good or bad, flirting is a tool wherein you can achieve youre goals in a.. hmm... how do I say this? in a less expensive manner(if you are that good) It could lead to different possible outcomes depending on how well you play the game.

Flirting has always been about the conversation between two individuals.. It can be as casual as it can be. It is a part of life and part of our instincts. Flirting may not be easy as it seems because in every situation there would be different set of factors involved, like in a club or coffee shop, in school or in the mall. You should be sensitive of these factors or a good flirting no matter how good the intentions might be will all go for naught. First thing I do is check out myself. I guess I'd want to feel the vibe before I flirt because to me there has always been this feeling that nothing could go wrong and all you can do is make the girls want for more.. hahahaha...Ü When the feeling is there I'm all set.. Everything falls into place.. the right words, the right moves(verbal and non-verbal cues), the topic of conversation, body language.. Aside from that there has always been an unwritten set of rules that I follow. Its all about etiquette and the manner of speaking I guess.. Social psychologists say that flirting is done usually at places wherein alcohol is provided(check out my reference at http://www.sirc.org/publik/flirt.html God! I actually researched for this.. ), to me i guess it could be done everywhere and to anyone. Depending on you’re tactics and strategy it can actually be done anywhere. I remember this time that I was driving around and I happen to come across this cutie that was walking around and I was sure that if I didn't talk to her I'd regret it for the rest of my life. I ended up asking her for directions around the place even if I knew my way around!! hehehehehe.. Even if I didn't get her number or see her again at least I did some way of boosting my confidence and talk to her. There are different and possible ways of attacking a problem. Same goes with girls.. Given the right information, style and "suave-ness"(depending on the likes of the girl and doesn't necessarily mean you need this). I'm sure you can hit it off on the right foot with any girl any time.

Based from the stories of friends and acquaintances its really hard for them to flirt. Sometimes I too share their sentiments but its a matter of striking a good conversation. It doesn’t need to be the clever and witty language. It may be in the form of a question or a comment on something. To do this you have to at least be observant of things happening around or at least knowledgeable of the situation. If the girl seems to lack the attention for the conversation or is saying "no" non-verbally through body language its safe to say to call it quits. No need to be alarmed. If ever the fate deems you to be lucky, good inter personal and social skills in handling a conversation would come in handy (again check my reference at the aforementioned website). It would deal with adequate skills in talking, listening, humor(most effective!), closing. Sometimes it would be very deadly to venture into witty and clever lines in a conversation so I suggest you always keep it simple and of course, keep it real. I usually keep myself updated and knowledgeable by reading different kinds of books or just by watching movies from action packed mano-e-mano movies to chick flicks. I mean be a jack of all trades so that you won't be at a loss of words. Try to learn from everything around you, may it be a flower by the sidewalk or even theoretical mumbo jumbo from the college textbook. Make the conversation simple and of course interesting. Its all up to you guys so let you’re imagination fly. Be creative and spontaneous because the best laid plans no matter how well planned they are usually backfire. Its just a matter of how you bring it..

I may not be a guru in flirting but i try to get around. I try to hone my skills and I still am in the process of learning new things. As of now I guess I’m in a rut because somehow my own "mojo" has left me.. bad trips.. This rut is taking to long and I now should be doing things to reclaim my "manhood".. pray for me guys..

ordinary day

2004-09-04T12:21:00.000-07:00

Dear on-line journal,

Guess what? I just met someone new the other day at RP. Her name was Carmen(by the way, hi Carmen!). First time I saw her she reminded me of my YFC friend nikki(Hi nikki!). The two look almost the same.. I guess its in the eye brows and or the skin color. I don't really know. After coffee in starbucks RP it was off to the movies for "the notebook". Cheezy and mushy as it may be i liked it. A girl even tripped near us while we were watching and I just couldn't control myself so I laughed out loud (HaHa!). After the movie I went to town to meet up with a friend but I got to stumble accross Chill my former blockmate at DLSU. We had dinner and caught up with old times.. After I met up with my friend Kristine for some coffee at Starbucks. Then another friend happened to stumble upon me.. Ec.. He joined us which added more to the fun..Ü After that I brought Kristin home and then some shuteye for me..Ü gotta go for now..

voices

2004-09-03T00:25:00.000-07:00

This week was just an emotional roller coaster ride for me. Too many things happened to me especially with my barkada here in the village. I guess for me this week was too much to bear because it had so much emotional impact to me that IM certainly writing it down here for the record. Some things never change especially when it comes to people that only want to save their God Damned asses..! Shit! I just can't believe that there are people who are still narrow minded at this time, people who don't give a damn about the fate of other people so long as they can still save themselves. I mean, fuck them right? Who needs those kinds of people? I can surely live without them and that's a relief because being with them just makes life harder all the more..

After all the memories, after all the struggles, after all the things that have been said and done.. The things left are pain.. And anger.. I guess it never really happened to them but it was very hard for us. To them it seems that as if nothing happened but to us it left wounds that would take time to heal..

I bid my goodbyes to you guys. Are you guys happy now? Did you get what you want? Well for the record, it was at our expense.. I guess thats the price of friendship then.. Congratulations.. you got us..

Nasty! Nasty! Course card distribution!

2004-08-31T16:50:00.000-07:00

dear on-line journal,

Nasty day for me.. at least for now all seems well because I haven't failed any subject but my last course card distribution schedule is scheduled this coming 6 pm makes me jitter all the way. Its the last subject and I'm still nervous about it since I might fail the last subject. I somewhat studied for it and I'm still not sure if I passed the subject.. shit! I feel like shit.. im having butterflies in my stomach and I just wanna get over this.. I can't wait till 6:00. I guess I'll post something worthwhile later when I get home.. I need to get over this feeling first..

jitterbug!! jitterbug!! wake me up before you Go Go!!!

2004-08-29T13:48:00.000-07:00

dear on-line journal,

sorry if i just got to post now.. The intenet in the house is again busted and I'm using the net at my cousins place. Got drunk last friday at home.. then off too krokodille gb3 with friends then off to cable car makati to get more liquour.. got home at around 5 am.. Just came from a debut at Bellvue last night and hung out at starbucks atc. Gosh! I still have debuts even at the age of 22. All the people there were young and hot and I just can't help but be a little embarassed about my age. There were a lot of chiks but sad to say I didn't get to meet even just one.. sigh.. Well then, moving on.. I was part of the 18 shots and got to shot a cuervo.. Damn! I miss that taste.. For this day I guess I'll just hang around the house cuz its my brothers birthday today! Happy birthday ken!! I'm just gonna call up my taas barkada and maybe hang out with them later at my place..

Larry Pineda...

2004-08-24T01:21:00.000-07:00

Whenever sang my songs
On the stage, on my own
Whenever said my words
Wishing they would be heard
I saw you smiling at me
Was it real or just my fantasy?
You'd always be there in the corner
Of this tiny little bar
My last night here for you
Same old songs, just once more
My last night here with you?
Maybe yes, maybe no
I kind of liked it your way
How you shyly placed your eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?
Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then
I will know that you are no dreamer
So let me come to you
Close as I want to be
Close enough for me
To feel your heart beating fast
And stay there as I whisper
How I love your peaceful eyes on me
Did you ever know
That I had mine on you?
Darling, so share with me
Your love if you have enough
Your tears if you're holding back
Or pain if that's what it is
How can I let you know
I'm more than the suit and the voice
Just reach me out then
You will know that you're not dreaming
Darling, so there you are
With that look on your face
As if you're never hurt
As if you're never down
Shall I be the one for you
Who pinches you softly but sure
If frown is shown then I will know
that you are no dreamer

Back then I was a proud man. Nothing could go wrong in my life.. I felt I had it all.. Life in the grip of my hands, living it to the fullest.. Then, there it was.. I didn't really know how or when it happened but I find myself falling hopelessly for just a girl.. She was lovely back then and still is up to now. I guess she was there the same time as I was. She was a different person back then or maybe time wasn't by my side to know her well enough.. It was a long time ago but still, I'm bothered.. I try to pick myself up.. pick up the pieces of a shattered person.. a proud person reduced to cinders.. why? because there is this feeling of knowing that she will never be yours.. that the two of you individuals were never meant to be and what makes it hurt all the more living a life of loneliness desperately seeking for companionship and comfort.. yah, friends are there but its still different coming from a special someone. It just sucks to be me..

I had this image of her to be this perfect person. That she was flawless and unscathed. I looked at her as though she was on a pedestal. Venus.. Aphrodite.. that was her name.. Truth of the matter is that she was a better person than I was.. that made me want to be a better person around her.. A person I can spend my life with.. with dreams of cherishing each moment of time spent together.. Well, I guess destiny had different plans for the two of us..

Destiny wanted us to be friends.. Still admiring her from afar I tried to let go.. removing thoughts of her in my mind. Its just so hard being in the same company of friends as she is.. Its just so hard loving someone in silence, acting as if she didn't mean a thing or even two.. And the worse thing is that all your friends are jeering at the both of you which all adds up to the embarassment that you have to bear for the time that you are together.. and aside from that, made you think..

So I gave myself up to destiny.. It was never meant to be.. I still remember saying to myself that "you can only be friends and nothing more.. better keep your head below the clouds, an imperfect person to say the least". We weren't meant to be together so I walked away.. I went on with my life and she went on hers. I was beginning to feel alright but destiny is cruel to me..

Paths crossed as time passed in this mysterious thing we call life.. We would end up meeting each other again, spending time and company for a few stolen moments of a day that should have never happened. That day she asked for help and I came.. and that would also be the end of me. I got to know her even more.. We talked and talked.. Got comfortable with each other. She got to know more about me and I the same.. Worse part has yet to come.. I began to learn that she was also an imperfect person. She had her share of weaknesses and shortcummings.. She was not the same girl I used to see in her. This made me fall for her again. It really hurt this time because I was looking for someone normal and imperfect but suddenly destiny shows me that same person again.. but with the qualities I was looking for in someone new. I am again buried six feet under.. My mind is running around in circles. I'm totally confused.. Why is it so unfair!? I was alright for a moment but life suddenly takes my way to recovery.. again..

I still sometimes dream of you.. Did you even notice those stolen glances? Did you even know that I had my eyes on you? I want you to be happy even though it pains me that I am not that man who brings joy in your life. Take care then, always look after yourself.. Im always here if you need me.. Who am I to take arms against life and destiny? I try so hard to be strong.. Standing tall even in the face of sorrow, in the face of adversary, in the face of the person that I look at in the mirror..

Now, I'm still lonely. Coping up with everything, balancing my life and none to share it to. Life and destiny was never really good to me.. I feel that the sweetest things in life has been kept from me.. I'm all alone and just hope for someone special to save me.. save me from this sadness that is starting to seep inside of me.. save me.. from myself.. There are challenges in my life that I still have to overcome but I guess I'll have to bear my burdens all by myself..

Welcome to my life.. This is the life of a wanderer.. aimlessly walking.. not knowing where destiny will bring you.. a life of loniliness.. an inner struggle within the self.. I know I'll survive alone.. but just for once in my life I'd like to taste sweet life.. a taste of someone walking beside me.. even just a taste of.. happiness.. Isn't that easy to give..?

Slow mawnin

2004-08-22T19:58:00.000-07:00

Dear on-line journal,

its a kinda slow mawnin for me..As usual I did my routine ab workout that ive been doing since the past two months.. gotta make the tummy go away..hehehehe.. Well IM just chillin to the sounds of john mayer thinking..

Last night me and my friends in a drinking session talked as usual but the most juicy topic was on the subject of relationships with main emphasis on the cheating side. I didn't really add much to the conversation because it was so fun hearing the comments of my friends on the issue. One friend said that it was part of a guys personality. That it was like a call of nature that whenever it itches, you whank it..hehehehe.. RSJ (hahahaha!)..! One friend proposed (because he is in the process of tasting different delicacies to put it in a not so harsh manner) that the guilt should not be entertained and yet be prepared for the consequences or even the karma.. one friend on the otherhand is guilty of "boating in two rivers"..hahahahaha! Although there wasn't any kind of intimacy on the second river.. He is really confused with his situation.. Another friend of mine was the stick to one gurl but is still open to the possibility that he may fall for another.. Temptation as they say is everywhere. I guess I still don't have a say in the situations because I haven't had any serious one in my whole lifetime as a person.. But that doesn't prevent me from having my opinion of course..

I guess relationships are really complex and complicated human processes and that finding time to balance it aside from your own life is painstakingly very hard. I guess with that and my standards for a girl, I never really bothered to get into one. I honestly still believe that if ever I would be in one, I'd want that to be forever. Wishful thinking as it may seem, its still what I want. Although I still am aware of the fact that I am human and it is in my nature to commit mistakes. enough on that topic.. see you later..

forgotten friend

2004-08-19T21:28:00.000-07:00

Since there is no way of reaching you I guess this the best way of conveying my message to you. I don’t really know how to start this letter but I guess I'll have to be frank and say what’s in my heart. I know that there are things that happened in the past that I know didn’t go well between the two of us. Although they are better left untouched I choose to say it rather than be forgotten as an unfinished chapter in my life. These past few days have been very unpleasant that I don’t really know what to say about our friendship. Why are you like that if I may ask? It is as if I've never existed. I just feel that I've been an expendable part of your life, an old friend that is to be forgotten in the advent of new ones. I've tried so hard to rekindle a friendship that I feel is worth it. For once I'd like to be selfish and just pour out everything that’s eating me up inside. I really felt bad about the way you acted when we saw each other at Greenbelt. You didn't even stop to say hi or a mere hello. I also do not know why you stood me up on the day of my party. Not even a simple text message as to why you weren't there. Why do you have to be so damn insensitive? There are people in this world that care for you, if you know what I mean and you know damn right that the world does not revolve around you. God knows how hard I’ve tried to keep up with you. I don’t even know if the term "best friends" is just a title or something that is real. So you tell me, did I do something wrong? Was there something I missed out in order for me to deserve this kind of treatment? If so I apologize to whatever wrong i did in the past. I'm just thinking that it’s been a long time and that by now we are mature individuals. Is it wrong for us to be friends? If so I'll just walk away. How I wish that you'd never resort to that. I know I've been harsh by the words I've said but I'm still hoping that you prove me wrong. At this point I leave the decision for you to make. I did my part and its up to you to decide the ending. All I ask is your friendship, is that too hard of a thing to ask? So please don’t take away a friendship I value so much. Always remember that I’m always here, still waiting for that friend that I miss so dearly.

wala lang..

2004-08-19T21:14:00.000-07:00

two

once upon a time i fell into darkness into a spell...and to a whole new world i entered and there my life inevitably shattered...away in another land i was far far away... was i ever to see the light of day?alone in my solitude... drowning each minute in thought...I never thought that something this sad was ever a thing for me i sought...and once upon a time i fell so helplessly in love with you...but what really makes me cry is you never really knew...

and as i wipe my tears and face the facts of life...I see a love so different, so special...a love the two of us would only know and understand...something unconditional and a love so free...not in the sweetest lock of our tender embraces that still, it makes me happy and contented...though a love wherein boundaries are placed though not to be broken...the love my heart knows of you, the love between us two...

trippin with words.. i need to practice to make this 16 stanza (phew!) for my filipino class and yes, its in tagalog.. I'm just damned for sure.. this is gonna be a hard one for me.. pray for me guys..

love letter for someone..

2004-08-15T05:33:00.000-07:00

Hey, how are you? Hope you are doing okay don't really know how to start this letter but I guess I'll just have to say whats in my heart. The way I feel for you right now is just so hard to explain, you may find this a bit amusing but I guess this is my only way of making my feelings known to you and I hope that somehow I can be able to convey my message clearly. I never really planned nor expected to feel this way towards you. I've always perceived myself as a logical person, I've always analyzed things and situations deeply before deciding on them but somehow I find myself confused as to how to deal with the feelings I have for you. I've liked you since then but I figured taking it slow and starting with friendship is a much better thing to do. At this point I don't really know where I stand. I've loved a person before, I gave it my everything but I lost her. This probably explains the feelings of uncertainty but as I write this letter I'm pushing away my uncertainties and taking the risk because I know in my heart that you are worth it. By now I'm pretty sure that in my own way I've shown you how much I care for you. I've asked you out many times but I noticed there was always an excuse. But don't get me wrong. I understand this, I just hope that after you read this letter you'll be able to find it in your heart to really tell me if I have this chance. I can deal with rejection. I'm man enough to accept that, I just hope that this will not change a friendship that I value so much. I'm not pressuring you into anything but I hope you give me an honest answer. I don't wanna waste your time. Thanks a lot for reading this letter. I wish you well and please take good care of yourself all the time.

tambay tambayan...

2004-08-15T05:17:00.000-07:00

Dear on-line journal,

nothing much for this day. Only had to do some minor adjustments to our project scheduled to be passed this Wednesday. I'm still having this hangover from last night's nasty, nasty, nasty party. Got drunk at Louie's place.. Had to much alcohol to drink. Oh shit! Too much beer and its making me cry cuz the belly's swelling up and I'm stacking up the calories. Oh well, its back to the treadmill and all.. Although I got drunk last night I was hoping to meet someone new, sad to say I didn't, but its all good.. At least there was a lot of drinks to consume and food to feast on.. FOOD TRIP!!! The pasta and chicken was just superb. I still remember the taste in my mouth and God, its so good. Oh, by the way im doing this post at my friend's crib (hehehehe... thug linggo..) im just chillin here with my homies from yfc and were having a heck of a time trippin.. cge na po..ba bay!!!!

Hey you!

2004-08-11T08:13:00.000-07:00

Dear on-Line journal,

hey! Sorry if I just posted just now. Been busy these past few days and its just been hell for me. Well I just made a scrapbook for one of my majors in school. It was so... hmmm... How would I describe it..? "girlaloo".. Oh, and the term "kikay" also applies.. Had to shell out around 600 bucks for making that scrap book. I had to get in touch with my "feminine side", if there is to get the job done. Thankfully, I got the job done just in time. Thanks to jb and sam for accompanying me in buying materials for the project.nasty shit.. It took me all night till the wee hours of the morning to get it done..Well this day was just so so. Met up with some groupmates discussing projects and all.. Spent sometime talking with mat W. When all the peeps were gone. Had a fun time talking to him trying to convince him that I was an oook person with my life.. hehehehe.. Even jen my other groupmate thought I was that shallow type of guy when we talked in the latter part of the day. I guess I can't blame them cuz its that only part of my personality that I show to friends compared to my really close friends. I choose to show them that cuz its really nice to see persons who'd accept you for who you are and have no qualms with what you have to offer. I know that IM really a deep person and choose to show that serious side when its really needed or people I know that can understand and be at par with that kind of thinking. People sometimes can be so judgmental, judging you for the little time that they know and spend with you. They initially perceive the first impressions as lasting ones which in my principles is incorrect. Every person has a story to tell in a sense that we do not live their lives because we have to live ours. People can be so gullible seeing only what they want to see and not seeing people for what they are.. Seeing beyond physical boundaries and into a persons soul.. I guess that's enough deep talk from me.. I'll retire for now and I'll just catch you later..

its been a while..

2004-08-03T18:10:00.000-07:00

dear On-line journal,

hey! its been a while since i last posted..Well, to tell you frankly why I haven't posted for days is because my internet connection got busted for almost two weeks so no internet for me.. well I have got lots to do for the rest of the week.. even for this day and I just hope to accomplish them with flying colors.. wish me luck ok? bye..

.............

2004-07-23T22:37:00.000-07:00

Dear on-Line journal,

Nasty morning for me.. Slept late last night because I got hooked to the t.v. watching "Meet Joe Black". Haven't watched it in a long time so it just stirred up the hopeless romantic inside of me. I'm such a sucker for cheesy and sappy love stories. Well, what can I do? That's me.. I just woke up at around 7:30 a while ago and had a hard time waking up. I got ready at around 850 while my class at benilde was at 9! I had to drive all the way to Las Pinas to Manila with all the traffic on this wet and rainy Saturday morning.. I had to buy this book required on this Saturday morning subject at atc for a nasty sum of 1060 bucks.. Are books nowadays that expensive!? Still a long day for me cuz I might be going out tonight.. Good thing is that my parents are out of town so I don't need to go home early.. phew! plus theres gonna be a drinking session with my village friends(taas barkada) at ejie's place later. I'm hoping not to get drunk before my night out.. wish me luck.. well im just surfing friendster at the moment. . see you guys later..

Go Warrior! 2!

2004-07-22T23:45:00.000-07:00

dear on-Line journal,

Well, yesterday was a long day for me due to the fact that when I woke up I went directly to the gym for my tuesday thursday workout schedule after that I went to DLSU for jiu jitsu training. After training it was school time for me. Still another boring class.. When class was finished I ate some q balls again then a friend of mine, Jessica rode with me home.. It was so traffic in the south Luzon express way that me and Jess were talking about eveything from the daily going-ons of our lives and even the camera pictures on her phone. After I brought her home I went for a quick eat at botchogs since P50 was the only money in my wallet.. Gotto and tokwa rocks for just the price of P19. Finishing off my meal I went to fetch Mico and off to jon's place for more jiu jitsu training. I jost got whooped in jiu jitsu and im not even sure if im ever gonna be good at the art. I've been facing a lot of opponents stroner than me and technique far mor refined than mine. I guess the losses are starting to bruise my ego. But to say the least im a much better jiu jitsu fighter than the people i started out with. At least i know that im well off than my batchmates cuz i've been training hard with people way much better than me.

at around 10:00 pm we stopped training cuz it was Go warrior time! yeah! The show featured brazilian jiu jitsu. and the host Rolan Ousborne was being teached by Gracie black belter of jiu jitsu Royler (pronnounced as Hoyler) Gracie. After teaching some of the techniques he went off to meet up with jiu jitsu granmaster Helio Gracie, 10th level blackbelt of the art at the age of 91 and father of Royler. What a lucky guy being invited to Helio's home for a private lesson from one of the people who popularized the art in Brazil. Roland also interviewed some of the best students of Gracie jiu jitsu who formed their own schools such as Manimal Jiu Jitsu and a brazilian jiu jitsu instructor who taught jiu jitsu to street children in order to teach them discipline of the art. You gotta just give respect to those kids being blue belters at a very young age. They could even execute suave armbars to even older people like me. What a nice way to stay away from drugs. I just envy them because jiu jitsu is the number one sport in Brazil aside from soccer and it brought to the Brazilians discipline and a sense of pride. How I wish that was the same thing here in the Philippines, being prideful of ones' culture and heritage. Going back to the story they also went out surfing and of course what better place to do grappling other than the beach? I'd like to try that sometime with my friends with whom I'm training with. its around 3:12 here in um and i have a class at akic at around 3:40. Well i guess i'll leave it up to there.. later..

blame it on the rain..!!

2004-07-21T09:18:00.000-07:00

dear on-Line journal,

i forgot to relate my experience after leaving um awhile ago.. shit! the rain was just pouring hard and i had to go to akic just for one class, Filipino 13! We were suppossed to write a composition about feelings of any kind.. being the weirdo that i am i wrote about the feeling of shitting..in tagalog "natatae". Finished it in a few and raced back to csb main for two more classes. It was still raining at akic when o got out so i opted to take a jeepney ride instead of walking. After the two classes to my luck it was still raining.. Walking back to the car made me wet all the more.. I mean, literally wet. at least when i reached home i got the chance to watch this show on the discovery channel.. Go Warrior..

Go Warrior!

2004-07-21T08:58:00.000-07:00

dear on-Line journal,
that martial arts show on discovery awhile ago was just nasty! I just loved it to the inch. It showed taekwondo(one of the martial arts im studying) and the russian martial art called systema.
The espisode on taekwondo was truly amazing displaying Korea's homegrown talents from its earlier roots of subaku later evolving into what we now know as the world famous taekwondo. Watching there techniques was just awesome and a jaw breaking display of speed, precision, accuracy and flexibility. How i wish with blinding jealousy that i could do what those koreans would do.
The second martial art was systema, also a combination of techniques of russian martial arts that is deeply rooted in their culture. I've learned that from their techniques that to be succesful in that martial art you must learn to move with the flow of things much like water(i remember bruce Lee and my jiu jitsu instructor saying this to me). Observing these techniques was like watching a dance with their bodies twisting and turning as though performing a ritualic dance, although they are disarming an opponent using the techniques. This martial art also reminds me of aikido techniques of disarming multiple assailants without the use of weapons.
It was kinda sad watching the show end because i just want to watch more. Well, tomorrow they are showing aikkido and brazilian jiu jitsu(this im also studying and my personal favorite!yeah!)and i just can't wait. Tomorrow is also a big day for me since im going to work out in the gym in the morning and off to jiu jitsu training in La Salle in the afternoon. After that go to class and finally home for more "Go Warrior".I'm just so excited at what tomorrow will bring..yahoo!

2nd day..

2004-07-21T01:03:00.000-07:00

dear on-Line journal,

apparantly i got lazy to train for jiu jitsu yesterday because i got lazy when i opened the t.v. Discovery channel was showing this episode on the "world of martial arts" featuring martial arts hotspots around the world. I managed to just watch half of the show but to my amazement they showcased the Filipino martial art called eskrima arnis which is now popular in the island of Cebu. Arnis is an art of 2000 years lineage dating back to the time of the first hero of the Philippines: Lapu-Lapu.. Apparently it was the art used by the "L" man to vanquish Magellan and his henchmen. After that it was outlawed in the Spanish era for about 300 years and is now resurfacing as the only original Filipino martial art of today. Other arts that were shown were taekwondo and aikido. talk about information overload ryt? after watching discovery i just went on my day to school.. how boring it was in class although that class was a class i was looking forward to since it was adorned by cute and beautiful women so even though it was boring i was happy in the consolation that there were eye candies to satisfy my hungry eyes.. im just a boy you know.. hehehehehe.. I can't help being one.. There was this topic me and steve(my classmate) was talking about. Well, i had this dream the other night about a friend. She was just a friend to me and nothing more but in the dream it was just so nasty.. We were having wild animal sex.. I was really confused with the dream so I asked Steve some form of interpretation to it. Steve told me that I might be liking her unconciously but consciously i dont care or even bother. Now I can't get her out of my mind due to that hot, hot hot, dream. Well, that was just some sidetrip to not let the boring class get to me. Going home I just ate q balls and met up with my friend pingkoy. Pingkoy said he was going to the house of our friend just to hang-out. After that I met up with Jessica cuz we were both supposed to go home together. She just came out of her class from st. scho and pingkoy still there was making faces at me, apparently to make fun of me with jessica because he said on text that we look "good" together.. Now thats just nasty cuz I've been friends with jessica for the longest time and shes like a sister to me.. nasty pingkoy.. after bringing jess home i drove directly home and after pigging myself out with food and drinks just watched this show again on martial arts on the discovery..and then texted my friend kristine from southville for awhile then..sleeping time.. whoa.. look at the time..its 320 already and i have class atakic at 340 and I'm still in U.M.. catch you later then..

first day..

2004-07-19T13:53:00.000-07:00

dear on-line journal,

hehehehe!Ü hey! its my frist time to post in this online journal.. im looking forward to posting here some of my thoughts... im just so bored right now that i actually did this journal.. i just hope that i don't get lazy with this and quit posting here altogether. shit! im late for jiu jitsu training.. have to go..